


Ambiguity

by hoshiyahs



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst with a Happy Ending, Drunk Sex, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, Jealousy, M/M, Non-Idol AU, i'm just gonna go ahead and put that there bc i'm soft and super gay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-09
Updated: 2017-10-09
Packaged: 2018-12-25 14:45:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 21,752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12038112
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hoshiyahs/pseuds/hoshiyahs
Summary: Soonyoung and Mingyu had a drunk hook up after a party one night. That was supposed to be it....Of course it wasn't.





	1. Chapter 1

The first time Soonyoung woke up next to Mingyu, he wasn’t quite sure if he should panic or not. His head kind of hurt and his body felt sticky all over. It took him a whole minute to realize he wasn’t sleeping in his own bed and another to realize that Mingyu was awake next to him, staring at the ceiling with his brows knitted in confusion.

“Oh, fuck,” Soonyoung groaned, the sound of his own voice making his head throb. He put the back of his hand to his forehead, closing his eyes tightly. “I need a shower.”

The bed shifted underneath him as Mingyu sat up and swung his legs over the side of the bed wordlessly. Soonyoung found his eyes following Mingyu as he wandered around the room, nudging aside haphazardly thrown about clothes out of his way with his foot. Soonyoung shocked himself when he found his gaze following the curve of Mingyu’s naked figure as he bent over to properly discard a tied-up condom into a trashcan. Soonyoung sheepishly looked away, faking a yawn as he sat up and massaged his temples.

What did people normally do after hooking up with a close friend after a drunken night? Pretending that he didn’t remember what happened seemed like the most convenient course of action, but Soonyoung felt uncomfortably dishonest with that. Sure, Soonyoung was drunk, but he was definitely sober enough to remember Mingyu hailing the taxi back to Mingyu’s dorm. He was also sober enough to remember Mingyu sprawled underneath him, red in the face and eyes hazy with his long legs wrapped around Soonyoung as the bed creaked. And he definitely remembered swallowing Mingyu’s moans with his lips, barely able to detect the bitter taste of liquor on Mingyu’s tongue.

It wasn’t like he and Mingyu were the first to hook up among their group of friends or anything, but Mingyu’s silence was telling. It was probably better to just not talk about it.

Soonyoung ran a hand through his hair. “Bro, can I use your shower to clean off?” he elected to ask instead.

“Ah,” Mingyu said, his voice sounding raspy. “That… Might not be a good idea. Minghao will be back any minute now.”

“Oh, right,” Soonyoung said. For a moment, he had forgotten that Mingyu was sharing the dorm with someone. Soonyoung waited for Mingyu to retreat to the bathroom before getting out of the bed, looking distractedly for his briefs.

“Hyung,” Mingyu said suddenly, the sound of his voice making Soonyoung startle a bit as he pulled on his underwear. Soonyoung turned around to meet Mingyu’s eyes, his chest clenching in a way Soonyoung couldn’t quite place when he found Mingyu’s expression unreadable. Mingyu handed him a warm towel and looked away, scratching the back of his head bashfully. “For—uh, y’know.”

“Oh,” Soonyoung said after a long moment of pause like his breath was suddenly knocked out of him. “Thanks.”

Soonyoung wiped himself up quickly and threw on his clothes distractedly, determined to avoid eye contact with Mingyu and brush the hazy memory of Mingyu panting, breath warm as he whispered “hyung” against Soonyoung’s mouth.

As luck would have it, he happened to look up to lock eyes with Mingyu right as he was reaching for his shirt. The memory came back full force and Soonyoung felt his face grow hot. Mingyu’s lips parted to speak and Soonyoung panicked.

“I’ll see you tomorrow!” he said quickly, hastily grabbing his hoodie off of a chair without looking and running out the door before Mingyu could say anything.

He threw on the hoodie quickly and was unhelpfully bombarded with a smell that made him feel warm all over. In the back of his mind, Soonyoung wondered if Mingyu wore some sort of cologne. He was only in that room for one night—how could his clothes already start smelling like him?

Soonyoung made the rest of the walk of shame with his hood over his head and his earphones blasting some song on repeat until he reached his apartment.

“Oh, shit. You’re alive,” Wonwoo said in lieu of greeting when Soonyoung entered the apartment.

“God, Wonwoo!” came a sharp voice coming from their couch. Jihoon laid with his arm over his eyes. “How many times do I have to tell you to keep it down? I’m fucking dying over here.”

Soonyoung sidestepped his hungover roommate to his other totally a-okay roommate crunching on a piece of toast. “Yo,” he said. “Is Jun home?”

“Yeah, he’s in your room with Minghao and Chan,” Wonwoo said, holding his toast out for Soonyoung to take a bite. The instant relief he felt at being able to put at least a bit of food in his stomach was immense.

Soonyoung gave Wonwoo a tiny salute of thanks before navigating down the hall to his room. Upon entering he was immediately greeted by Chan lying face down in Soonyoung’s bed, groaning in pain. Jun was lying on Minghao’s lap. Minghao, who looked totally fine and alive by the way, even after downing a bunch of shots at the bar last night, was now just typing away on his phone.

“Oh, there you are,” Minghao said. “I was about to start calling you—you just disappeared last night without telling any of us.”

“Sorry,” Soonyoung said, closing the door behind him. He paused and looked over at Minghao. “Wait, aren’t you supposed to be headed to your dorm?”

Minghao shook his head and began to ruffle Jun’s hair with his free hand. “Nah, I’m taking care of these lightweight losers. I told Mingyu I’d be back around noon,” he answered. Minghao suddenly stopped and looked up at Soonyoung with a raised eyebrow. “Wait, why do you ask?”

“No reason,” Soonyoung answered quickly, brushing off the way Mingyu chased him out. He walked over to his bed to ruffle Chan’s hair. Chan just whined in response. “Aw, who thought it was a good idea to give the poor baby alcohol?”

“The same idiot who thought it’d be smart to give him a fake ID,” Minghao replied, typing away at his phone.

Jun let out a small chuckle and raised his hand. “Guilty as charged.”

Chan made a small gagging noise and Soonyoung started to pull the blanket out from under Chan, but apparently, Chan was still healthy enough to pull back and whine. “You better not throw up on my bed. Who said you can sleep on here?”

“Hey!” Chan objected, turning his head to narrow his eyes at Soonyoung. “Obviously, _you_ weren’t gonna use it last night. Who the hell did you hook up with?”

Soonyoung’s heart jumped in his chest and his throat suddenly felt dry. With another tug fueled by the energy of his own combined frustration and embarrassment, Soonyoung yanked the blanket out from under Chan and the younger boy fell out of the bed with a yelp.

“Shut up! I didn’t hook up with anyone!” Soonyoung protested a little too loudly.

“Oh? Then where did you go last night?’ Minghao asked with a mischevious curl on his lips. When Soonyoung opened his mouth, floundering his words in an attempt to make up an excuse, Minghao only smiled wider. “Isn’t that hoodie kind of long for you, hyung?”

Soonyoung stared at Minghao in confusion for a second before looking down. He felt the tips of his ears burn as he hastily yanked the hoodie off of himself and throwing the hoodie at the general direction of his closet. That explained why it smelled so much like Mingyu.

He glared at Minghao as the other boy started to chuckle into his hand.

Jun propped his head up on Minghao’s knee. “C’mon, Soonyoung—who was the lucky guy?” he asked with a smirk.

“There wasn’t one,” Soonyoung argued stubbornly.

Both Jun and Minghao began to open their mouths to argue when Chan suddenly sat straight up, eyes wide and face growing pale.

“Oh god,” he said, before opening a drawer and promptly hurling his guts into it.

Jun shot out of his bed quickly. “Hey, that’s _my_ desk! At least use a trash can!”

Despite the total disgust and horror at the realization that his room was going to smell like barf for a while, Soonyoung was grateful for the distraction as he ran out to grab a barf bag for Chan. He escaped his room when Minghao started heading out to walk Chan home and Jun set off to clean the barf from his desk.

Soonyoung sat in the kitchen, waiting for his toast as Wonwoo read some book at the dining table and Jihoon snored away on the couch. It was then that Soonyoung detected a familiar scent that made his chest get all tight. He pulled the fabric of his shirt up to his nose and took a tentative sniff.

Huh. Who knew Mingyu had such good taste in colognes.

* * *

Soonyoung got it in his head that he was pretty much over the whole one-night-stand-with-Mingyu thing after about twenty-four hours of nervous confusion. When he met up with Seokmin, Seungkwan, and Mingyu for lunch the next day, he was able to push it all from his mind and have just as much fun as ever. He even threw his arm around Mingyu and teased him as usual, bothering him for bites of his lunch. Mingyu indulged with a small complaint that maybe Soonyoung should just get his own food instead of mooching off of him all the time.

So, yeah. All in all, things were pretty much… Mostly fine. Soonyoung wasn’t really sure why he was so bent out of shape about all of that.

About a week after the whole incident, Soonyoung got a text from Mingyu while he was laying around in bed, bored out of his damn mind on a late Friday afternoon.

**Mingyu: hyung do you want to come over and watch some movies with me?? I got some really bad horror movies the other day**

**Mingyu: Minghaos gone for the weekend**

For some reason, the last text made Soonyoung’s heart leap in his chest—which is pretty weird. It’s not like he’s never hung out with Mingyu one-on-one before. But those feelings aside, Soonyoung didn’t really have any reason to say no. He was bored out of his mind. Seokmin and Seungkwan had both gone home to visit their parents during the long weekend and all of his roommates were holed in the library studying for a midterm for a class they shared.

 **Hoshi: o shit bro hell yeah** **ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ**

**Hoshi: i’ll stop by the convenience store on the way hmu if u want any snacks**

Soonyoung was filled with jittery energy on the entire walk from his apartment to the store to Mingyu’s dorm. Probably because he was about to have a horror movie marathon (at least that’s what he’s chalked it up to). He’s not really sure why he also picked up condoms and lube while he was there, but, well, whatever. It wasn’t like he was expecting to get laid this afternoon, but he _could_ get laid whenever. By whoever—he wasn’t thinking of anyone in particular. So he was just keeping his options open.

Yeah, that’s it.

Anyway, Soonyoung showed up to Mingyu’s dorm in the early evening with two packs of ramyeon and three bags of chips. That’s all anyone needed to know. They sat against the wooden frame of Mingyu’s standard-issue dorm bed and hook up his laptop to a monitor.

And, okay, these were shitty horror movies. Soonyoung _knew_ that. The effects were terrible, the acting was laughable, and the plot was predictable as all hell.

Nevertheless, Soonyoung screamed at every jump scare.

“Oh my god, calm down, hyung,” Mingyu said, laughing behind his fist.

Soonyoung’s eyes were blown wide, his arm extended in front of Mingyu and squatting on the balls of his feet like his fight-or-flight response was in action. “I _knew_ that fucking bastard was gonna check the bathroom—what did I fucking s—HEY!” Soonyoung screamed again when the masked axe murderer sneaks up on a child. He threw his arms instinctively around Mingyu’s shoulders. “Oh shit, I can’t watch—tell me when it’s over.”

Mingyu didn’t respond, electing to fall into raucous laughter instead to the rather unsettling sound of a man screaming and stabbing noises. Soonyoung buried his face in Mingyu’s shoulder, peeking out to watch the movie at the worst moments against his better judgement.

The movie finally ends to a child and a woman walking away to the abandoned house that they probably had no business being in in the first place. Soonyoung felt his heart rate slow down as the ending credits began to roll.

He forced a laugh. “Yeah, that wasn’t that bad,” he said, his voice cracking slightly. “Not that scary or anything. Pretty average.” Mingyu snorted and looked away. Soonyoung looked up to scowl at Mingyu. “What? You got something to say?”

“No, not at all, hyung,” Mingyu said, turning back towards Soonyoung with a mischevious smile curled on his lips.

“Hey, watch—“ Soonyoung opened his mouth to retort, only to suddenly notice that Mingyu’s face was only a few short centimeters away from his. Close enough for Soonyoung to see small freckles on his face that he hadn’t noticed before and even each of Mingyu’s long eyelashes. Slowly, Soonyoung was starting to become aware of Mingyu’s arm wrapped around him and the hand on his waist.

Mingyu was wearing that cologne again. The one that was stuck on the hoodie and left on Soonyoung’s shirt a week ago. Soonyoung couldn’t help but take a deep breath.

“Uh, hyung?” Mingyu asked, brows furrowing together in concern. “Were you saying something?”

“Uh,” Soonyoung said dumbly. His mind scrambled for something to say—anything. “What… what cologne do you use?”

Soonyoung wanted to throw himself out the window.

“Oh,” Mingyu looked surprised and Soonyoung could see his cheeks grow pink. “Uh, I don’t normally wear cologne? I mean, I’m not wearing it right now.”

“Huh,” Soonyoung said, the sound of his voice sounding more like a soft exhale than speech. He found himself leaning towards Mingyu in spite of himself. “You smell _really_ good.”

Mingyu didn’t respond and, before Soonyoung could even register what was happening, Soonyoung felt a hand cupping his cheek and pulling him closer until their lips met. Their noses bump awkwardly and Mingyu’s cheeks dust red.

“Sorry,” Mingyu whispered, his eyes darting away bashfully.

 _God_ , Soonyoung found himself thinking, _that’s cute_.

Without responding, Soonyoung pulled Mingyu in, angling his face so that their lips slotted together. Soonyoung watched as Mingyu’s eyes fluttered close and the arm around Soonyoung’s waist pulled him closer.

As soon as he can feel Mingyu’s body against his, the temperature in the room seemed to jump. Soonyoung was practically in Mingyu’s lap, his tongue running over his lips, asking for access. Mingyu’s lips parted and Soonyoung took the opportunity to run his tongue over Mingyu’s teeth. Mingyu tasted like the chips they were just eating and in the back of his mind Soonyoung felt kind of self-conscious. Like he should have chewed some gum after eating all that ramyeon.

But of course, those concerns disappeared in a snap when he suddenly had the bright idea to grind his hips down against Mingyu’s lap. The other boy let out a small moan in between breaths, which was _really_ doing it for Soonyoung.

“Hyung,” Mingyu whispered, his warm breath fanning across Soonyoung’s skin. His eyes were hooded and his dark pupils were dilating. Soonyoung gulped as he felt his pants suddenly grow uncomfortably tight. He grinded down on Mingyu’s lap again and watched as Mingyu’s eyes fluttered again and Mingyu bit his lip, trying to suppress a wanton moan.

Soonyoung clicked his tongue. He couldn’t have that.

Soonyoung kissed Mingyu again, roughly this time. Even taking Mingyu’s bottom lip between his lips as he pushed their hips together, satisfied by the feeling of Mingyu moving his hips to match his. Soonyoung felt hot all over and his mind was just focused on how desperate he was for friction, how much he wanted to hear all of the sounds that Mingyu was making unfiltered. Before he could think straight, Soonyoung’s hand moved to grasp at the erection tenting Mingyu’s sweats.

Mingyu whimpered behind his hand when Soonyoung began to palm his erection. Even touching him through the clothes gave Mingyu a full-bodied reaction. Mingyu's whole body shuddered underneath him and his eyes become lidded and hazy. His head tipped forward into the crook of Soonyoung's neck.

"Ah, hyung," Mingyu moaned, sending a shiver down Soonyoung's spine. "Wait—"

At that, Soonyoung is snapped back into reality. His eyes grew wide at the sight of Mingyu unraveling underneath him and he stopped moving his hand. Now that he could fully take it in, he couldn't help but notice how beautiful and vulnerable Mingyu looked. He suddenly felt a pang of guilt gripping his chest.

"A-are you okay with this?" Soonyoung asked.

Mingyu bit his lip and looked up at him with big eyes. There was a long pause that Soonyoung couldn't read before Mingyu spoke. "Are _you_ okay with this?" he asked, sounding hesitant.

Panic abruptly washed over Soonyoung. "Y-yeah, of course," he stammered. "I mean, we're still friends, right? Nothing will change," he said, trying to reassure both Mingyu and himself. When Mingyu is silent for a moment longer, Soonyoung began to feel himself sweat. “I mean, y’know,” he shrugged, clenching and unclenching his clammy hands into a fist. “We’re both college dudes and we’re not really seeing anyone. We both kind of need to… let off some steam,” Soonyoung offered, his mouth feeling dry. “What do you say?”

Mingyu's eyes grew wide for a second before he closed them for a brief moment. Soonyoung felt something grow heavy in his chest, ready to leap back if Mingyu showed the slightest signs of rejection.

"Yeah, of course," Mingyu finally said after a long moment. "Nothing will change."

Mingyu pulled Soonyoung towards him, capturing his lips into a rough kiss that Soonyoung moaned into. Suddenly Mingyu grinded his hips up to meet Soonyoung's and Soonyoung hissed at the contact, grinding down to meet his thrusts. Mingyu leaned forward to press a wet kiss on Soonyoung's jaw, and then again to lick the curve of Soonyoung's ear.

"Ah, fuck," Soonyoung groaned, feeling kind of ridiculous for being turned on by such a simple feeling.

"Don't keep me waiting, hyung," Mingyu said, drawing out the last word in a low seductive tone that made Soonyoung growl in a desire to prove himself.

They moved things onto Mingyu's bed, which took a lot longer that it should what with heated kisses along the way as they struggled to tear each other's clothes off. By the time Soonyoung’s brain actually caught up with what was happening, Mingyu was lying down on the mattress and totally exposed. Soonyoung still had his jeans on, but he elected to ignore them in favor of pressing his lips against the tan skin of Mingyu's neck and feeling the vibrations of Mingyu's throat on his lips every time Mingyu's breath hitched or he let out a small whimper. Soonyoung's hands traced the curve of Mingyu's hipbones, wandering dangerously close to Mingyu's erection, but not quite there.

Soonyoung didn't remember this from the first time, but for some reason he found himself totally thrilled to learn that Mingyu was a whiner. Mingyu whimpered whenever Soonyoung moved his hands away and gasped when Soonyoung's hips dove down to give Mingyu the semblance of relief.

"Oh," Mingyu gasped, his voice almost sounding like a choked sob. "Oh, hyung, _please._ "

“Fuck, hold on,” Soonyoung swore, clumsily climbing out of his pants. He almost tripped over the edge of the bed trying to kick them off his leg and Mingyu snorted.

“Shut up,” Soonyoung said, the tips of his ears growing warm with embarrassment.

“I didn’t say anything,” Mingyu chuckled.

The corners of his eyes wrinkled and his lips were curled into a smile so genuine that Soonyoung almost forgot how much he wanted to wreck him. In the back of his mind, Soonyoung felt the urge to lay a chaste kiss on Mingyu’s lips—to take things slow and drown in the euphoria of Mingyu’s blissed out expression.

Soonyoung shook his head. Those are some pretty dangerous thoughts for this sort of thing. He looked away sheepishly, picking his jeans back up to dig into his back pocket to pull out the condom.

Mingyu’s eyes widened for a brief moment. “Wow. You were prepared,” he said, brow furrowing. Soonyoung wasn’t quite sure of what to make of his reaction and just elected to let out a laugh that he hoped didn’t sound as nervous as he felt.

“I guess I’m ready for anything?” Soonyoung said with a shrug. He glanced around the room. “Where do you put the, uh—“

“Top drawer, bottom right corner.”

Soonyoung pulled off his briefs after retrieving a pretty basic bottle of drugstore lubricant from Mingyu’s drawers and climbed back on top of the bed between Mingyu’s legs. He pushed Mingyu’s legs up towards his chest and apart, resisting the urge to press kisses along Mingyu’s inner thigh. There was so much empty space on his thighs because Mingyu was just so damn tall and had long-ass legs, his tanned skin unmarked and smooth. Soonyoung wondered how Mingyu would react if he decided to ruin the clean canvas and mark him up.

Mingyu’s hand reached down to touch himself. He scowled at Soonyoung when Soonyoung swatted his hand away. “Hyung, hurry up,” Mingyu said, his voice sounding whiny where he meant to be demanding and frustrated.

Soonyoung was beginning to wonder if he had a hyung kink or something, because the way Mingyu would call for him was sending him into a frenzy. Soonyoung bit his lip, hand flying to stroke his own dick and relieve at least some of the pent-up tension that he had been holding in.

“Who knew you were so whiny,” Soonyoung quipped with a smirk that made Mingyu scoff. In a sudden rush of confidence, Soonyoung sucked at the skin right between the base of Mingyu’s erection and his thigh, making the other boy hiss.

“ _Hyung, please,_ ” Mingyu begged, his hand flying over his mouth.

Soonyoung couldn’t help but smirk in his own personal satisfaction at being able to get Mingyu in such a flustered state. He licked his lips, moving over to mouth along the side of Mingyu’s cock. He licked a long stripe along the length of his dick before taking it into his mouth.

Mingyu tried to muffle his moans with the back of his hand. Clearly, he was also trying to stop himself from bucking up into Soonyoung with the way his hips stuttered, which was kind of sweet in a weird sex kind of way. Nevertheless, Soonyoung’s hands were placed firmly on Mingyu’s hips to stop him from thrusting into the wet warmth of Soonyoung’s mouth. As hot as getting his throat fucked out seemed, Soonyoung wasn’t actually that confident about his gag reflex.

“ _Ah, fuck!”_ Mingyu swore. “Hyung, you feel so good.”

Soonyoung took that as the okay to start bobbing his head, running the flat of his tongue along the side of Mingyu’s dick as he pulled up, reveling in the way Mingyu groaned with every movement. He threw in a hum every once in a while, just to see how Mingyu would pull his bottom lip into his teeth as the vibrations sent a wonderfully numbing pleasure up his spine.

The sound of Mingyu’s wanton moans was getting Soonyoung pretty bothered himself. With one hand, he reached down to grab his own length in his fist, giving it a hard stroke and moaning around Mingyu’s cock.

“Oh, shit,” Mingyu said, his voice breathless and almost frantic sounding. “You feel so good, hyung. Do that again.”

Soonyoung really wasn’t planning on stopping, so he obliged, continuing to thrust into his fist as he took as much of Mingyu’s length as he could into his mouth. In the back of his mind, he was kind of impressed with his own coordination and multitasking skills.

Soonyoung could feel himself reaching the edge and popped off. Mingyu looked almost pissed off at the sudden pause, opening his mouth to object before seeing Soonyoung pull out the bottle of lube again.

“What? Should I just finish us off the other way or—“

“No,” Mingyu said quickly, looking extremely flustered as he shook his head eagerly. He started to lift his legs and his ears turn bright red. “This is fine.”

Soonyoung lifted Mingyu’s legs to get a better angle and a moment of self-consciousness hit him right when he really didn’t need it (thanks brain). Soonyoung wondered if doing this sort of thing drunk would have worked better—then he wasn’t really thinking too hard about it.

It wasn’t even like Mingyu was his first partner or anything obviously. Soonyoung didn’t just magically learn how to suck dick instantaneously. Somehow it was just, well, different. Soonyoung had never really had to think too hard about sex before—especially for something casual like this.

“Hyung? What are you waiting for?” Mingyu asked, snapping Soonyoung back to the present. The sight of Mingyu beneath him, his pupils blown wide and his cock all long and flushed was enough to push all of those thoughts away.

Soonyoung slicked up his fingers generously and pushed a finger past the ring of muscle, looking expectantly at Mingyu.

Mingyu bit his lip and closed his eyes tightly. Soonyoung paused in his movements, trying not to think too hard about the way Mingyu’s ass clenched around his finger and how good that was going to feel.

Mingyu opened his eyes slowly. “Don’t just stare at me like that,” he said, cheeks flushing even redder. “You’re making me embarrassed.”

Soonyoung flushed at being caught staring. “Just wanted to make sure you were okay,” he said as way of an excuse.

“We had sex a week ago,” Mingyu said, frowning. “I think I can handle it.”

“If you say so,” Soonyoung said. He began to loosen Mingyu up, watching as Mingyu squirmed underneath him. Finally, when he was knuckles deep, his finger brushed against the spot that made Mingyu moan like his breath was just knocked out of him.

“Oh, shit—right there, hyung,” Mingyu whined, his head tilted back as Soonyoung began to prod at his prostate and sent him into throes of ecstasy.

“Fuck,” Soonyoung swore under his breath. He began to add another finger, and then a third, pumping them knuckles deep into Mingyu’s ass and massaging his prostate.

Mingyu looked like he was past the point of no return, swearing and calling out for Soonyoung like his life depended on it, begging for something more. Soonyoung etched the moment into his memory, Mingyu’s pleas like music to his ears.

“I’m ready,” Mingyu said. “Oh god, Soonyoung—“

“Hey, who are you calling ‘Soonyoung’?” Soonyoung said, feeling a weird heat build in him as he took control. He retracted his fingers and Mingyu immediately whimpered at the lost. “I’m older than you, aren’t I?”

“ _Hyung,_ please!” Mingyu corrected himself and begged, the corner of his eyes welling up with tears. “Fuck me, hyung!”

That was all Soonyoung needed to start rolling the condom onto his length and lift Mingyu’s hips again. He lined up his dick, the tip prodding slightly at Mingyu’s hole. He stopped and looked up at Mingyu, who had started holding his breath in anticipation. He took it all in—the way Mingyu worried his lips between his teeth, the way Mingyu looked up at him with pleading eyes, and the way Mingyu’s cock leaked pre-cum onto the expanse of his stomach.

“Fuck,” Soonyoung swore, mostly to himself. “You’re so hot.”

With that, Soonyoung drove his length into Mingyu, hissing at the way his walls tightened around Soonyoung’s dick and enveloped him in a tight warmth. Mingyu made a sound that sounded halfway between a moan and a sob.

“Fuck, you feel so good, Mingyu,” Soonyoung hissed, going in for shallow thrusts. He hooked one of Mingyu’s legs over his legs, trying to angle himself until Mingyu suddenly gasped, his eyes blown wide.

“Fuck, right there, hyung!” Mingyu urged him. “You make me feel so good, hyung.”

Soonyoung groaned, his thrusts getting deeper as he went, hitting Mingyu’s prostate almost every time. He grabbed the headboard with one hand to steady himself as his hips drove him into Mingyu faster and harder. “Shit, you feel amazing,” Soonyoung groaned. He blearily saw Mingyu reach up to grab his own length with his hand, jerking himself in time with Soonyoung’s thrusts.

“Hyung, I’m so close,” Mingyu said, his eyes glistening. “I’m so close—ah!”

“Me too,” Soonyoung said, blathering uselessly as his mind began to go haywire in his pleasure. The thought of Mingyu coming on himself, all over his hands, was one that made Soonyoung’s hips jerk forward in a particularly hard thrust that sent Mingyu screaming “Fuck, that’s so hot. I wanna see you come. You’ll look so good, Mingyu.”

“Ah, hyung!” Mingyu called, his jerking motions growing erratic. “Oh, oh—I feel so good, hyung!”

“Come on and come,” Soonyoung said, his voice nearing the tone of a plea. “I wanna see you come, Mingyu—“

Suddenly, Mingyu’s whole body shuddered and Mingyu threw his head back in a silent scream. His walls pulsed around Soonyoung’s dick, sending him into an orgasm so strong that Soonyoung began to blackout, stars appearing in the corner of his vision as he came.

He was vaguely aware of his head falling onto Mingyu’s shoulder as his hips stuttered and Mingyu’s voice in his ear, all hoarse and sexed-out, whispering praises.

Soonyoung dozed off for only a few moments, almost knocked out by the intensity of his orgasm. He waited for his heartbeat to slow down before pushing himself off the bed to tie off the condom and dispose of it (properly this time).

Mingyu spoke, his voice so quiet that Soonyoung probably wouldn’t have heard him if his senses weren’t suddenly super aware of Mingyu’s presence.

“Hyung,” he said, voice hoarse as he turned his head. Mingyu’s eyes are half-closed and his lips are parted. “Where’re you going?”

“The toilet,” Soonyoung said. “I need to take the biggest piss in the world.”

Mingyu didn’t respond, not to express his disgust or even laugh, but Soonyoung felt his gaze on him as he walked towards the bathroom. When Soonyoung came out, Mingyu’s face is turned towards the wall, his breathing slow. Soonyoung stood stock still in the quiet of the room, watching the slow rise and fall of his chest.

“Beautiful” was the most accurate word Soonyoung could think of to describe Mingyu at that moment. And Soonyoung wanted to punch himself in the face as soon as he thought of it for only being able to come up with something so goddamn _cheesy_. But he was never really a great words guy and it’s the only way he can describe how he looked at Mingyu’s smooth tan skin, the defined tone of his muscles, and the way the sheets drape over him almost artistically. Mingyu’s hair was slightly damp with sweat and his cheeks were still rosy. His eyelashes cast shadows on his cheeks and—

Soonyoung paused, unsure of whether he wanted to lean in closer to get a better look or to pretend he didn’t see what looked like a tear roll slowly across Mingyu’s cheek and off his nose.

For a moment, Soonyoung panicked, wondering if he actually _did_ hurt Mingyu or something. But after looking just a little closer, Mingyu’s face and body language didn’t seem like they were contorted in pain at all. Of course, there is always some ache after sex, but his body and facial features looked relaxed.

It was probably just a remnant from their romp—Mingyu had gotten so teary-eyed, after all, calling for Soonyoung and hiccupping with each thrust. Nevertheless, he couldn’t help but feel like he was intruding on something rather private.

Soonyoung shuffled around the room quietly, careful not to arouse Mingyu from his slumber. He clothed himself and made sure all the clothes were _actually_ his this time. He pulled on his jacket and checked his phone, sliding his feet into his shoes, when he suddenly heard a sound come from Mingyu’s bed that almost made him jump.

Soonyoung turned, waiting for Mingyu to wake up and say something to him. Something like “let’s not do this again” or “why are you still here?” Soonyoung held his breath for a long time, until he realized what the noise was.

Mingyu was snoring. Loudly.

Soonyoung snorted, slapping his hands to his face quickly to mask his laughter. But he really couldn’t help but smile at the way Mingyu snored away, looking content in his sleep. Soonyoung’s chest was filled with something fond and warm and he was almost tempted by the idea that maybe he should stay.

This was getting more dangerous than he thought it would.

Eventually, Soonyoung slipped out, closing the door quietly behind him. He walked back to his apartment with his hood up and a slow song humming in his ears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What up. I just really wanted to write some soongyu fwb fic and then it developed a plot so here it is I guess?
> 
> This was unbeta'd because, quite frankly, I'm just embarrassed. So thanks for making it through the first chapter! I'll try to post the next one soon since I just really want to see this short fic to completion.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something is bothering Soonyoung.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for waiting a while for the update! I've been getting busy. Actually, as far as updating fics go, this was fairly fast for me.  
> A quick warning for some jealousy and stuff?? I'm pretty sure that's in the fic tags already though. Y'all know what you're getting into.

Soonyoung’s heart skipped a beat when he ran into Mingyu the next morning at the coffee shop just off campus. Which was stupid. This was a no-strings attached thing so he had no reason to be acting like a fool. He wondered for a second if it would be a good idea to pretend that he didn’t see him—to pull his baseball cap down over his face with his head held low as he waited for his coffee.

Mingyu hadn’t noticed him yet and was just chatting with the pretty girl working the register. She fluttered her eyelashes at him and tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear.

And, okay—Soonyoung didn’t really blame her in all honesty. He had always thought Mingyu was pretty good looking—too fucking handsome for it to be fair. Even right now, when he probably smelled all sweaty from his morning jog, he looked pretty damn good. He was wearing a white t-shirt that looked like it barely fit with the way it clung to his arms and body and his hair was slightly wind-swept. His face was slightly red from being out of breath from his run and he was smiling that big, bright smile that Soonyoung had liked from the first moment he met him. And okay, really, he wasn’t even really sweating—it was more like he was glistening.

The barista smiled at Mingyu and laughed coyly behind her hand when he spoke, tilting her head at him cutely. And without even realizing he had done it, Soonyoung clicked his tongue in annoyance. Sure, Mingyu was handsome, but did this girl really know Mingyu? He wasn’t always all toned and graceful looking. He used to be all gangly and clumsy, like he didn’t quite know how to deal with how tall he was just yet. But his smile was always just as bright and pure. Under the surface, did this girl even know how good Mingyu really was?

Soonyoung walked over to Mingyu and slid his arms around his waist, making the effort to get on his toes to hook his chin over Mingyu’s shoulders. Mingyu jumped at Soonyoung’s abrupt appearance, but when he looked down to see who was hugging him, he relaxed.

“Hyung?” Mingyu asked. “I didn’t know you were here.”

“Hey,” Soonyoung said. “Get me one of those cookies.”

Mingyu frowned. “Hey, what am I? Your servant? Get it yourself.”

“Ah, is that what you say to your elders?” Soonyoung teased, clicking his tongue. Soonyoung couldn’t help but smile when Mingyu rolled his eyes at him, but leaned his head slightly towards Soonyoung. “Besides, I already bought my stuff,” he added, settling himself comfortably against Mingyu.

“Then why didn’t you just buy it before?” Mingyu said, sounding annoyed. Nevertheless, he reached up to pet Soonyoung’s head. Soonyoung leaned into his touch as Mingyu’s fingers played with his hair.

“I forgot,” Soonyoung lied. He presses his chest closer to Mingyu’s back and turned his head so that his lips are a hair’s width away from his jaw. “Ah, c’mon, Mingyu. I’ll return the favor however you want.”

The last part comes out a lot more seductive than Soonyoung had originally intended, but he couldn’t say that he regretted it. Mingyu’s skin suddenly grew hot and Soonyoung could almost feel how fast his heart suddenly started beating through his back.

“Fine,” Mingyu said, failing to keep a calm demeanor when he almost has to choke out the word.

“Um,” the barista suddenly spoke up, looking flustered. Soonyoung almost forgot she was there. “S-so would you like me to add that then?”

“Yes, please,” Mingyu said, his cheeks flushed pink.

Soonyoung snickered as he let go of his embrace. “Cute,” he teased, only loud enough for Mingyu to hear. Mingyu elbowed him in retaliation.

Soonyoung retreated when he heard his drink being called out and Mingyu joined him. Soonyoung didn’t look up from his drink, but leaned against Mingyu’s shoulder casually. When Soonyoung peeked up at the taller boy, he almost laughed at the way Mingyu glared at him, trying to look intimidating when the tips of his ears were still bright red.

“What?” Soonyoung asked innocently. Mingyu held his glare and Soonyoung couldn’t help but break out into a wide smile. “You’re too fun to tease, Mingyu-ah.” He reached up to pinch Mingyu’s cheek affectionately, which only looked more ridiculous considering their height difference.

Mingyu slapped his hand away lightly and pulled his lips into a pout. “Stop it,” Mingyu said. “You’re being mean.”

“Ah, don’t be like that,” Soonyoung said, smiling as he did a silly wiggle and leaned even more into Mingyu’s personal bubble. “C’mon, I’ll make it up to you.”

Mingyu’s name was called and Mingyu stepped forward to grab his coffee. He came back and held the cookie out for Soonyoung to take an enthusiastic chomp. Mingyu took a bite and Soonyoung frowned, nudging him with his elbow.

“Hey. I thought that was mine,” he protested.

“I paid for it,” Mingyu countered, taking an even bigger bite to prove his point.

Soonyoung let out an offended scoff, in spite of his smile. “The sheer audacity!” he began. “You were just calling me—“

“Can I come over?” Mingyu suddenly said, stopping Soonyoung in his tracks.

“Huh?” Soonyoung said, even though he clearly heard him.

“I… need help studying for this midterm,” Mingyu said unconvincingly. He didn’t look Soonyoung in the eye when he spoke. “You said you took the class before, right? Besides… you distracted me this weekend, so…”

All of a sudden, all the bravado Soonyoung had just had disappeared in a puff of smoke at the way Mingyu looked at him from the corner of his eye, expectant. Soonyoung’s throat suddenly ran dry and his hands were starting to get all clammy. This was bad. He wasn’t supposed to be getting nervous about things like this.

Soonyoung wondered if he should turn him down or pretend he didn’t understand before he fell even deeper into this rabbit hole. Besides, this was just generally an inconvenient idea. Soonyoung had stuff he had to work on, too. He just hadn’t because he was also, well, “distracted.” Huge air quotes around that word. This wasn’t even mentioning the fact that the only person he knew wasn’t going to be in the apartment that day was Jun. He really didn’t want Wonwoo and Jihoon knowing that he was hooking up with someone they were all friends with.

“Yeah,” Soonyoung said anyway. Because he’s an idiot and his impulse control was little to none. He looked away and took a long sip of coffee before speaking again. “You can come over.”

“How’s this afternoon?” Mingyu asked.

“Works for me.” And when he saw a small smile crawl onto Mingyu’s face, Soonyoung couldn’t help but smile, too.

Soonyoung followed Mingyu out after Mingyu finished his coffee and gave him the last bite of the cookie. As they leave, Soonyoung spied the barista from earlier staring at them. Soonyoung smiled and slipped his hand into Mingyu’s back pocket as they leave, the door swinging shut behind them.

* * *

Eventually, it does become more of a routine. Soonyoung stopped feeling so weird about hooking up with Mingyu to the point where Mingyu could just text “come over” and Soonyoung would drop everything to do it. Which, okay, was kind of overkill for a no-strings-attached sort of thing, but if Soonyoung just thought of it as hanging out with a bro or something, it made more sense to him.

Besides, Soonyoung actually enjoyed being with Mingyu. Hanging out with him while they hooked up opened a whole new avenue of knowledge for him. Soonyoung liked the way Mingyu’s face would practically light up when he was excited, eyes bright and smile wide. He liked the way Mingyu would slowly gravitate towards Soonyoung, throwing a not-so-conspicuous arm around Soonyoung in an attempt to start cuddling subtly. Hell, he even liked the way Mingyu would scold him for not getting enough veggies in his diet, and share his food with Soonyoung when they ate out. And he especially liked the way Mingyu’s whole body flushed when he was underneath Soonyoung, eyes watering and lips so tempting as he called—

“Ah, hyung,” Mingyu said, frowning.

Soonyoung peeled his eyes away from the drama playing on Mingyu’s laptop to look over his shoulder at Mingyu, who was lying sideways in his bed with only his briefs on. Soonyoung himself was totally naked aside from a long T-shirt that he stole from Mingyu. His gaze traced the slope of Mingyu’s long legs and hips and hesitated on his firm abdominal muscles. He took a quick moment to admire the sharp line of Mingyu’s jaw before meeting his eyes.

“What?” Soonyoung asked.

Mingyu was frowning at his leg, brows furrowing and lips pulling into a pout that Soonyoung couldn’t help but find kind of cute. Mingyu rubbed at a big red bruise on this inside of his thigh. “You left a mark.”

“Oh, did I?” Soonyoung asked innocently, turning his whole body to rest his arms on the bed. He leaned on the bed and pressed his mouth against his arm to hide the small smirk that curled on his lips. “Whoops.”

Mingyu glared at him. “Don’t act all innocent—I can see you smiling,” Mingyu said. The taller boy shifted on the bed to sit up straight with his legs crossed. At this angle, Soonyoung could see the hickey he had left clearly and he was tempted to propose making Mingyu’s legs more symmetrical. Mingyu clicked his tongue, as if scolding Soonyoung for staring for too long and Soonyoung gave him a sheepish smile.

“Sorry—heat of the moment and stuff,” Soonyoung said in lieu of an explanation. And, well, it wasn’t _really_ a lie. Every time they had sex, Soonyoung was always hit with the overwhelming urge to suck at Mingyu’s skin hard enough to bruise. But lately, it was less of an urge and more of a conscious thought that Soonyoung would linger on when his mind trailed off while studying or when he was in the shower or even when Soonyoung was hanging out with his friends and eyed Mingyu’s neck from across the table.

“It’s embarrassing,” Mingyu said, rubbing his neck and looking to the side. “What if someone sees this? What are they going to say?”

Soonyoung frowned, suddenly feeling a lash of irritation at Mingyu’s response. “What, are you going around wearing speedos or something?” he asked, trying to keep a level voice. “No one’s going to see it unless you’re really showing them that far up your thigh.” Soonyoung turned back to the TV.

He heard the springs in Mingyu’s bed shifting behind him as Mingyu got down on his stomach. “Hey, are you actually mad right now, hyung?”

Soonyoung’s heart suddenly raced at the sound of Mingyu’s voice right by his ear, voice low and still slightly hoarse from sex. “I’m not mad,” he said stubbornly.

“Yeah, you are—you’re being all huffy and stuff,” Mingyu pointed out, smiling as he reached forward to rub Soonyoung’s head. “Why are you mad?”

Soonyoung’s ears felt hot. “I’m _not_ mad,” he insisted, his lips pulling into a tiny pout. “If you don’t want me to give you hickeys, I’ll stop.”

There was a long moment of pause and Soonyoung just watched the drama without really registering what was happening. He was more focused on the sound of Mingyu shifting on the bed again, leaning closer to Soonyoung.

“I didn’t say you should stop,” Mingyu said, his voice slightly hesitant. “As long as you don’t do it anywhere that shows, I don’t _really_ mind.”

The first thought that struck Soonyoung at that moment was that he actually _did_ want to mark Mingyu somewhere where everyone could see it. His next thought was total and sheer embarrassment at the first thought. Why did he even think that?

Soonyoung pushed his worries aside and grinned at Mingyu. “Oh, what’s this? You like being bitten, Mingyu?”

Soonyoung felt a warm satisfaction at the way Mingyu’s cheeks turned bright red. Mingyu clambered back into a sitting position and Soonyoung turned to face him again.

“So what if I do?” Mingyu looked away from Soonyoung indignantly, trying to seem casual despite blushing pretty furiously. Mingyu’s fingers subconsciously traced back and forth across the hickey on his thigh and Soonyoung couldn’t help but be hypnotized by their movements.

Soonyoung found himself licking his lips when he looked up at Mingyu and his arms moved to trail slowly up Mingyu’s leg. Mingyu turned to look at Soonyoung at the sudden sensation that sent him into a very visible shiver. Soonyoung climbed up with one knee on the bed, catching Mingyu’s lips in a fevered kiss. Mingyu whimpered slightly at his touch and Soonyoung grinned into his lips, pressing forward.

Soonyoung was practically preening with satisfaction at the way Mingyu became pliant under Soonyoung's touch, head tilting obediently to meet Soonyoung's lips and eyes fluttering shut. Mingyu had always been a the type of person who was eager to please, but Soonyoung prided himself on being the only one who knew this side of Mingyu who was beside himself with succumbing to his desires.

Part of him wanted the whole world to know that only he got to see this.

Soonyoung moved to press kisses down the sharp curve of Mingyu's jaw and scraped his teeth lightly against Mingyu's neck. Mingyu's breath hitched, but he melted into Soonyoung's touch nonetheless.

"If you like bites so much, I can leave them all over you," Soonyoung said, his hot breath fanning over Mingyu's skin.

Mingyu bit his bottom lip to suppress a tiny whimper as Soonyoung swiped his tongue over Mingyu's collarbone.

"You'll look so good, Mingyu. So pretty," Soonyoung said as he mouthed at Mingyu's skin.

"Fuck, hyung, people will see," Mingyu whimpered in a half-hearted protest.

Mingyu was leaning back against the wall now with Soonyoung stradling his thigh. Soonyoung could feel Mingyu's half-hard length prodding his thigh from through Mingyu's briefs.

"Good." Soonyoung pressed his knee against Mingyu, feeling pleased when Mingyu pushed back through muffled groans. The heat in the room grew intense as Soonyoung scraped his teeth against the underside of Mingyu's jaw, his voice lowering into a growl against Mingyu's ear. "I want them to see it. I want everyone to know that you're mine."

Mingyu's hips thrust down to meet the knead of Soonyoung's leg against his erection, but Soonyoung quickly pulled his leg back.

"Fuck," Mingyu swore, half a frustrated sigh and half a desperate plea. "Come _on—_ “

"I want to make you all mine, Mingyu—want you to see it," Soonyoung growled, feeling Mingyu's body shudder underneath him. His hand had wandered down to Mingyu's chest and he could feel the way Mingyu's heart thundered as Mingyu breathed with short, heated breaths.

"Make me yours, hyung," Mingyu plead with a whisper. His voice was so pure and so quiet Soonyoung almost missed it. The pure desperation of Mingyu's voice sounded so vulnerable that Soonyoung almost snapped out of it. Before he could think much on that, Mingyu rolled his hips and the friction against Soonyoung's already hard cock makes Soonyoung hiss. "I'm all yours. Anything you want. Just _please—_ “

Soonyoung groaned, his mind spinning as his hips moved of their own accord and grinded desperately against Mingyu.

"Fuck, you're so hot," Soonyoung said before biting the nape of Mingyu's neck. Mingyu groaned as Soonyoung sucked and licked at his skin, arms thrown around Soonyoung shoulders and biting his lips almost hard enough to draw blood.

Soonyoung was starting to feel dizzy with desire in the heat of the moment. He and Mingyu were touching but the touch was simultaneously too much and not enough. Soonyoung opened his mouth and sucked a dark bruise on Mingyu’s neck, grinding against Mingyu’s thigh.

To say the least, Soonyoung’s senses were thrown completely out of sorts. They moved quickly and desperately to shed their clothes. Soonyoung prepped Mingyu with deep concentration, focusing solely on the sounds Mingyu would make when Soonyoung rubbed him the right way. He found himself pretty fascinated with Mingyu’s voice and how Mingyu could capture Soonyoung’s attention with just a simple “hyung” whether it be a wanton moan underneath him or a pleased greeting accompanied by a warm smile that made Soonyoung’s heart clench in his chest.

It was almost scary how much Soonyoung just purely _wanted_ Mingyu for reasons he couldn’t quite explain and didn’t really want to work out. And for a while, he honestly didn’t feel like he had to. It was fine to just have sex with Mingyu when they both felt like it. It allowed Soonyoung to set aside his complicated emotions just for the heat of Mingyu’s skin against his. But suddenly, the niggling feeling in the back of his mind reminding him that sex was all that was between them made Soonyoung feel hollow.

Soonyoung’s forehead fell on Mingyu’s shoulder when he slid into him, the feeling of Mingyu’s walls tight around him enough to send his mind whirling. Soonyoung lifted his head to come face to face with Mingyu, who had gone silent despite his incessant begging earlier. Soonyoung’s breath hitched as he took the opportunity to note just how beautiful Mingyu was as he looked up at him with a patient gaze and Soonyoung’s bites leaving bruises all over his neck. He looked at Soonyoung with wide eyes, lips slightly parted and light pink dusting across his cheeks. Mingyu took a deep breath and his gaze suddenly becomes so genuine that his eyes alone send a shiver up Soonyoung’s spine.

Mingyu’s heels dug into the small of Soonyoung’s back and his hands cupped the back of Soonyoung’s neck. “Hyung,” he whispered so quietly that Soonyoung almost didn’t hear it.

Soonyoung kissed him. It wasn’t one of those heated open-mouthed lip locks that they were used to, but something almost chaste. Soonyoung felt Mingyu’s lips relax against his as Mingyu wrapped his arms against him. Mingyu sighed into Soonyoung’s lips and Soonyoung has to remind himself not to mistake that feeling rising in his chest as hope.

Soonyoung broke the kiss before he could let his mind wander anywhere deep or dangerous. He pulled out halfway and began to thrust shallowly into Mingyu, letting the desperate fervor take over him again as Mingyu threw his head back with a pleased moan.

Soonyoung swore as his hips jerked harder. He bit his bottom lip and pushed Mingyu’s leg higher for better access, smirking at the way Mingyu was hiccupping in a weirdly cute way with each thrust. “Fuck, how do you manage to be so fucking cute all the time?” Soonyoung joked.

Mingyu tried to glare at him, but failed due to the way his eyes were starting to tear up like they always did during sex. “D-don’t be an asshole,” he managed to stammer, the sharpness of his retort cut by the way he whimpered, eyes screwed together tightly when Soonyoung thrusts inside him. “ _Ah,_ right there, hyung.”

“God, you’re too much for me,” Soonyoung groaned. The heat was too amazing and Mingyu’s tightness was too much for him to think straight. When Soonyoung hit just the right angle, Mingyu all but screamed. His nails dug into Soonyoung’s back and tiny tears were falling from the corner of his eyes. “Fuck, you feel so _good_ , Mingyu.”

With one hand, Mingyu reached between them to grab his own cock and stroke it in time with Soonyoung’s thrusts. “I’m so close, hyung—fuck, I’m _so_ close,” he moaned.

“Me too,” Soonyoung managed to say. “Fuck, you feel too good, Mingyu. You look so good like this.”

Their movements became erratic and frenzied and Mingyu finally came all over his hand and stomach. Soonyoung pressed his lips against the underside of Mingyu’s jaw next to his ear, hissing as Mingyu’s ass clenched around his dick. His mind was sent into a whirl of too many thoughts at once as he reached the peak of his orgasm.

“Fuck,” Soonyoung swore, his voice hot against the shell of Mingyu’s ear. “You feel so good, Mingyu.”

“Hyung,” Mingyu whimpered, his voice hoarse and whiny from the over stimulation. His voice was so calming and comforting that Soonyoung felt raw emotion wash over him and his heart seemed to burst in his chest.

“Mingyu,” Soonyoung moaned, feeling dizzy. “I lo—“

Soonyoung’s mind skidded to a halt as he came with a groan. All he could really register was the smell of Mingyu—overwhelming and wonderful—and the feeling of skin on skin suddenly growing too hot to handle.

When Soonyoung finally came back to his senses and rose to pull himself out, his mind finally finished playing catch up. He looked sharply up in horror at Mingyu, who was looking at him with wide eyes.

“What… what did you say?” Mingyu asked.

Soonyoung's throat felt dry and he wasn't quite sure if it was just hoarse from sex. He searched frantically for something to respond with before coming out with an ineloquent "Huh?"

"Earlier," Mingyu continued with an expression Soonyoung couldn't read. "Before... you said something like..." Mingyu trailed of, voice hesitant like he was afraid of asking.

Soonyoung gulped and rolled off of Mingyu, going to dispose of the condom in an excuse to tear himself away from Mingyu's imploring gaze. He took a deep breath when he tossed the tied-up condom in the trash, just then realizing that he had been holding his breath that whole time.

"Oh, uh, I dunno," he said, turning back towards Mingyu and scratching his head. "Probably wasn't important—I kinda get caught up in the moment sometimes."

"Are you sure? It sounded… pretty important," Mingyu pressed on.

"It was nothing," Soonyoung insisted. He walked over to where his clothes were piled by Mingyu's desk, aware of the eyes watching him as he pulled on his briefs and his jeans.

The silence was almost stifling and Soonyoung wondered if he should crack a joke or change the subject. Anything to stop them from talking about this.

He heard Mingyu take a deep, but steady breath.

"Hyung," Mingyu began, his voice wavering a bit. When Soonyoung turned to acknowledge him, his chest suddenly stung at the guilty look on Mingyu's face. Soonyoung was starting to feel pathetic. "I think we need to ta—“

"There's nothing to talk about," Soonyoung interrupted. Judging by the shocked look on Mingyu's face, his tone was probably sharper than he had intended. Soonyoung looked away as he slipped his shirt over his head and took a steady breath. "You're not my boyfriend, Mingyu," he continued through gritted teeth. "We don't have to discuss our feelings and shit."

The hurt etched on Mingyu's face made Soonyoung's heart ache. Soonyoung was almost urged to apologize and admit everything right then and there, which disturbed him because Soonyoung wasn't sure what it was he wanted to admit.

But the insistence and purity of Mingyu's speech got to him again as Mingyu spoke up again, his determination withering. "But hyung, I—“

"It's just dirty talk, Mingyu," Soonyoung said, sounding impatient. "All that 'you're mine' shit and stuff—it’s just supposed to be sexy, y'know?" Soonyoung looked away for a moment to grab his jacket off of Mingyu's desk chair. "We're just friends who sometimes have sex—nothing more." Despite the harsh pang he felt, Soonyoung forced a jovial smirk. "Hey, you knew that, right? You're not _that_ innocent, are you?"

Mingyu held Soonyoung's gaze for a long moment before looking away. "No," Mingyu said in a small voice, "I knew."

Soonyoung panicked. He hated being in uncomfortably heavy situations like this the most, so he put on his best silly attitude face and sat down on the bed. "Hey, don't get all embarrassed now. You're cute when you're all innocent like that," Soonyoung said. When he gave Mingyu a playful nudge, Mingyu just got up from the bed. "Let's finish that drama!"

"Actually, you should go home, hyung," Mingyu said without looking back at him. Mingyu grabbed a tissue to clean himself off. "I have some work to do and you're getting in the way."

Ouch. Soonyoung figured be probably deserved that last one, but it still hurt.

"Ah, c'mon, Mingyussi—don't sulk," Soonyoung persisted half-heartedly. He forced a laugh. "C’mon, if you finish this drama with me, I'll suck your d—“

“ _Hyung_ ," Mingyu said with a new sharpness that shut Soonyoung up entirely. Mingyu looked directly at Soonyoung, lips pressed into a thin line. "I think we need to take a short break from... whatever this is for a while."

Soonyoung's mouth went dry as Mingyu looked away and Soonyoung's chest ached in a way that he had never felt before. Soonyoung's lips parted to speak—to say something important.

"I'm still seeing you at the bar tomorrow night, right? With everyone else?" is the question that came out instead. Soonyoung wanted to punch himself.

"Yeah, probably," Mingyu responded.

Mingyu got dressed in silence and Soonyoung pretended to check his phone. He watched as Mingyu went to grab a shirt from his closet. Soonyoung found himself staring at the marks that he left all over Mingyu's neck and felt a lump in his throat when he swallowed.

Soonyoung left with a small goodbye that Mingyu didn't answer and closed the heavy dorm room door behind him.

* * *

Mingyu was wearing a turtleneck when they all went out that evening.

Whatever. That made sense and Soonyoung didn't really care. Why would he care? This girl who's talking to him was really cute and had been hinting that she was planning on bringing someone back home with her tonight. So, yeah. Whatever.

The bar was busy that night, even ignoring his friend group of thirteen that showed up. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Seungcheol trying to keep tabs on everyone while Jeonghan and Joshua leaned on him, both of them red in the face as they tried to persuade Seungcheol to loosen up. His roommates were trying to out-drink each other and so far, Woozi seemed to be winning. Seokmin was sitting next to him, ordering another drink and laughing as Junhui laid his head on the bar and Wonwoo started rambling something, red in the face. Minghao was playing billiards with some strangers, smirking as he leaned coolly on his pool cue. Seungkwan was sitting on Hansol's lap, talking very passionately about something while Hansol listened and nodded. Chan was on the other side of the bar, chatting up the cute bartender.

Unfortunately, Soonyoung was standing somewhere where he had the perfect view some tall guy very blatantly flirting with Mingyu. It was too loud in there and Soonyoung was a little too tipsy to make out what exactly they were saying to each other, but their body language was enough for Soonyoung to guess.

Mingyu was smiling at the guy, all friendly and bright like he normally was. He laughed at the other guy and his eyes even do that crinkly thing that Soonyoung adored.

Soonyoung suddenly registered that the girl had finished speaking when she gave him a strange look and realized that he should probably respond of be wanted to get laid tonight.

"Oh, uh, yeah," Soonyoung said generally. He honestly had no idea what this girl was talking about. Hell, he actually forgot what her name was. Fuck, maybe he could catch it again if he actually listened.

As soon as the girl started talking again, Soonyoung's attention was grabbed by the sight of the guy leaning into Mingyu's space with one hand on Mingyu's thigh. Suddenly, Soonyoung started to see red.

"Dude? Are you okay?" Seokmin suddenly asked, nudging Soonyoung with his elbow and reigning him back in. "You look like you're going to break that."

Soonyoung suddenly registered the half-empty glass he had in a death grip. "Yeah, of course," he said without taking his eyes off of Mingyu. "I'm fine." To prove himself, he downed the rest of the drink in one go which, okay, was pretty stupid. The burning sensation in his throat almost had Soonyoung gagging when he finished. He put his drink down definitively and his lips began to curl into a scowl.

"Sorry," he said, trying to keep his voice even. "Excuse me." He pushed past the girl he was talking to and made his way over to Mingyu. Soonyoung hadn't gotten to the point where the room had started spinning yet, but he was getting there.

Soonyoung slid his arm around Mingyu's waist and smirked at the way the other guy immediately jumped away, mostly out of shock.

"Hyung?" Mingyu asked, looking surprised and confused.

"Mingyu-ah, what are you doing all the way over here?" Soonyoung asked, running his hand up and down Mingyu's side. "Come over to the bar—I'll buy you a drink."

"Oh, uh, I'm just catching up with an old friend from back home," Mingyu explained, brows knitting in concern as he looked at Soonyoung. "This is Park Taemin," Mingyu turned to the other guy, who was regarding Soonyoung like he was sizing him up. "Hyung, this is Kwon Soonyoung. We... He's a senior in one of my majors."

In the back of his mind Soonyoung knew he should feel embarrassed, but he's had a little too much alcohol to push away the feeling of burning jealousy he felt when he heard Mingyu address Park Taemin as "hyung."

Which, of course, is ridiculously stupid. Mingyu addressed a lot of people as "hyung." Hell, right as they were just entering the bar, Mingyu called out "Jisoo-hyung" when Joshua accidentally dropped his wallet. That didn't bother Soonyoung then.

It was just that _this guy_ was being given the same title as Soonyoung was making his blood boil. Hell, at this point Soonyoung had just been reduced to “a senior.”

Soonyoung could practically feel the way Park Taemin was judging him just by looking at him, but at least the guy has the decency to hold out his hand for a handshake.

“It’s nice to meet you,” Park Taemin said with no real emotion or enthusiasm in his tone.

Soonyoung regarded the hand extended to him for a moment. Usually, he’d be pretty enthusiastic about meeting people regardless of whether or not they seemed like a dick, but right now, Soonyoung could barely suppress his distaste when he ignored Park Taemin’s hand, electing instead to wrap his free arm around Mingyu’s waist to press himself closer to Mingyu.

“Babe, I’m so drunk,” Soonyoung said in a low whisper, just loud enough for Taemin to hear.

"'Babe'?" Taemin repeated, looking surprised. He cast a confused glance at Mingyu. "Are you two together?"

Soonyoung watched as Mingyu's cheeks turned bright red, despite the frown. Mingyu opened his mouth to speak. "We—"

"Do we look like we're together?" Soonyoung asked, a small smirk crawling onto his lips. The arm Soonyoung had looped behind Mingyu's back snaked up and Soonyoung ran his knuckles up Mingyu's neck and below his jaw, where he knew a big purpling bruise he had left yesterday still was. He saw Taemin's eyes grow very wide as they followed the movement of his fingers as if he hadn't seen the mark before. "I think we make a pretty good-looking couple, don't you think?"

Mingyu pushed away Soonyoung's hand on his neck. "Hyung," he began, brows furrowed as he pulled himself away from Soonyoung. "What are you—"

"Oh, Mingyu-ah," Soonyoung said, very suddenly grabbing Mingyu by the chin and turning his face towards him. "You have something on your mouth."

With that, Soonyoung pulled Mingyu into a kiss, his hand cupping the back of his neck. Soonyoung half expected Mingyu to push him away when his tongue glided over Mingyu's bottom lip. To scold Soonyoung and tell Park Taemin that they were not, in fact, dating. Because why would Mingyu be interested in dating someone like Soonyoung? Mingyu was beautiful—impossibly so. He was probably the closest living thing to Adonis what with his tall, lean figure and a face that looked like it was carved out of marble. Surely someone like him could do better than fucking Kwon Soonyoung.

But Mingyu actually kissed back. His eyes fluttered closed and he angled his lips to slot against Soonyoung's like it was second nature for him. When Soonyoung licked across the seam of his lips, Mingyu opened his mouth obediently and leaned into Soonyoung's touch like his life depended on it.

Mingyu's lips tasted sweet and fruity, Soonyoung observed. He smiled into the kiss. Of course Mingyu would only drink the cocktails so sweet that Soonyoung couldn't even taste the alcohol lingering on his lips.

When they parted to breathe, Mingyu's eyes look almost hazy and he was staring right at Soonyoung's lips. Soonyoung was floored at the thought that he could make Mingyu look so hungry for more with something as simple as a kiss. Soonyoung was even more delighted when, out of the corner of his eye, he had noticed that Park Taemin had left. Soonyoung licked his lips.

"So," Soonyoung smirked, filled with a smug satisfaction and overconfidence fueled at least partially by alcohol. "Who’s gonna tell him we aren't dating?"

As if snapped out of a spell, Mingyu's eyes suddenly snapped back up to meet Soonyoung's, wide and focused. Before Soonyoung could ask what was up Mingyu shoved him away, looking scandalized.

"What do you think you're doing?" Mingyu asked accusingly. Mingyu swore under his breath, running a frantic hand through his hair. "Fuck, now I have to apologize to Taemin-hyung—"

"Wow, you two are close, aren't you?" Soonyoung interrupted him, his tone more scathing than he wanted to let on.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Mingyu asked.

"What—were planning on fucking him, too?" Soonyoung drilled on before he could stop himself. His whole body felt hot like a kettle about to explode. "Are you two _already_ fucking or something?"

Mingyu looked shocked and was silent for a long while before turning away from him. "That's none of your business," he said, voice cold and so quiet among the bustle of the bar that Soonyoung almost didn't hear him.

Soonyoung felt his heart clench in his chest and stared at Mingyu, slightly shocked. When Mingyu finally looked up at him, Soonyoung suddenly felt very small.

Mingyu had been giving Soonyoung that look recently. The one where he looked a little guilty and a little pained. The one where he looked like he wanted to say something that he couldn't say.

"I'm going home," Mingyu said, turning to walk away.

"Hey!" Soonyoung called after Mingyu. His feet started moving of their own accord and he chased after him. Soonyoung stumbled a little, pushing past people to get to Mingyu. "Hey, Mingyu—!" Soonyoung stepped past the bouncer onto the street, where Mingyu was standing by the sidewalk on his phone, probably calling for a ride.

When Soonyoung placed his hand on Mingyu's shoulder, the other boy shoved his hand off so fast Soonyoung stepped back. Mingyu turned to face him, lips pressed thinly together and eyes slightly red.

"What do you want from me, hyung?" Mingyu asked, voice wavering. "Am I some sort of joke to you or something?"

Soonyoung looked up at Mingyu with his mouth open, throat dry, desperately trying to think of something to say. Soonyoung felt like every single emotion was crashing over him at once, overwhelming him and casting him in a dream-like state.

"Are you really seeing him?" Soonyoung asked weakly. It was the only thing he could manage to say coherently without looking like a total idiot. Not that he didn't already look like one of anything, but he had nothing else.

"Why do you even care?" Mingyu asked. "You said so yourself—there's nothing between us. And there never will be. It's not any of your business who I hook up with."

"What if I want it to be my business?" Soonyoung blurted out, a mix of frustration and sadness bubbling in his chest.

"What?" Mingyu asked, eyes wide as Soonyoung stepped forward to grab Mingyu's wrist. When Soonyoung pulled him closer, Mingyu stepped towards him, looking confused.

"You... you shouldn't be seeing guys like that," Soonyoung said, leaning in. He came close enough to feel the warmth of Mingyu's breath fanning on his lips. "I want you, Mingyu. You—“

"Hyung."

Mingyu's hands were on Soonyoung's shoulders, pushing him back with a gentleness Soonyoung didn't think he deserved.

Mingyu's voice was quiet and wavering. "We need to stop."

"What?" Soonyoung asked. Suddenly everything he had meant to say disappeared in a wisp of smoke. Hell, what had he even been trying to say? "Mingyu, I—“

"All of this... You're drunk. You're confused," Mingyu looked away. "Go home, hyung. We can pretend this never happened."

A car pulled up next to the sidewalk and Mingyu looked up.

"That's my ride," Mingyu said, not looking back at Soonyoung.

"Mingyu—“ Soonyoung began to protest when suddenly Mingyu yanked him forward by his shirt. Their lips meet in a chaste kiss that threw Soonyoung in for a loop.

Mingyu pulled back before Soonyoung could fully register what was happening. Soonyoung stood shell-shocked, as Mingyu gave him that look again.

"I—“ Mingyu began, then gulped. The air was heavy and Mingyu looked away. "I'll see you around."

Soonyoung was too shocked to respond, only able to watch dumbly as Mingyu jumped into the car and it drove away. By the time Mingyu's ride rounded the corner, Soonyoung registered something wet on his cheek even though he hadn't been crying.

* * *

Soonyoung sobered up by the time he trudged into his apartment that night. Actually, he wasn't even that drunk to begin with so, he was fine. At least as far as alcohol went.

He pulled open the door and was greeted by complete darkness. Expectedly so, since his roommates were all probably still at the bar. He locked door behind him and trudged through the apartment in the dark until he reached his room.

Soonyoung had time to mull over Mingyu's words on the walk back home. He flicked the light on and began to kick off his clothes.

Maybe Mingyu was right. Maybe this whole friends with benefits thing was just getting to Soonyoung. Maybe Soonyoung was so hopelessly and depressingly single that he was starting to mistake lust for love or something equally stupid.

 Soonyoung walked over to his closet and began digging through his drawers for his PJs. In the midst of sorting through his clothes, Soonyoung suddenly froze when he got a hold of a hoodie that was soft and a bit too large for him.

"Fuck," Soonyoung swore when he breathed in the familiar scent.

Honestly, Soonyoung should probably be more concerned about the Pavlovian response his dick had towards Mingyu's fucking smell, but he was way too in over his head to think straight.

Soonyoung sat leaning back against the side of his bed, legs spread and dick straining against his briefs as he pressed Mingyu's hoodie to his nose. He inhaled deeply and his free hand dipped underneath the band of his briefs to rub his erection.

Mingyu always smelled fucking amazing to Soonyoung and, honestly, he wasn't all that convinces that Mingyu wasn't at least wearing cologne or something. Mingyu's scent was just so overwhelming that Soonyoung couldn't help but feel drawn to it. Maybe because it meant Mingyu was close enough to taste.

Soonyoung's brain was suddenly filled with memories of Mingyu hoovering over him, kissing Soonyoung with a soft tenderness that made Soonyoung melt, pumping his cock while whispering sweet nothings into Soonyoung's ear.

Soonyoung hissed at the thought, thrusting his dick into his fist with frantic desperation. He was close, but it still wasn't enough. He couldn't stop thinking about Mingyu moaning into the sheets, or Mingyu's lips, or even the way Mingyu felt when he settled himself in Soonyoung's arms.

"Fuck," Soonyoung swore, voice muffled by the hoodie. "Oh, fuck. Mingyu—I love you. I—“

Soonyoung came all over his hand, throwing his head back and moaning Mingyu's name at no one, his heart hammering in his chest.

When Soonyoung began to settle down, some part of him expected Mingyu to be there, blissed out but smiling at him with eyes so fond, it made Soonyoung heart skip a beat. He wanted Mingyu to be there, laying his head on top of Soonyoung's shoulder, wrapping his long arms around Soonyoung's waist as they argued about what they should watch before one of them had to leave. He missed the moments when Mingyu fell asleep mid-movie, mumbling stuff in his sleep and snoring away, while Soonyoung just watched him, hand moving lazily up and down Mingyu's side.

Soonyoung felt tears prickling the corners of his eyes and he sighed. He closed his eyes tight before the tears could fall and leaned his head back against his bed as a thought dawned on him. He wasn't really surprised by it, so it really shouldn't have hurt like he had just gotten shocked. But the thought overwhelmed him and the tears he had tried so hard to stop began to fall. Soonyoung let out a slow, shaky breath.

Soonyoung had really fallen in love with Kim Mingyu.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for making it this far through! Next time is the last chapter so I'll try to get that out and finish this up!  
> Comments are highly appreciated and fuel me!!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The emotional, thrilling conclusion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A very... very long chapter. Like almost thirty pages double-spaced. There wasn't a good place to split it up into two chapters, so y'all can have it all at once!

Soonyoung finally woke up around eleven in the morning after a pretty restless night. The blinds were open and the sun was too bright for Soonyoung’s grouchy morning mood. He felt disoriented, tired, but not hungover. Which actually kind of sucked. He felt like crap and being hungover was a way better explanation than heartbreak or something.

Also, it was freezing in there. If Jun was blasting the air conditioning again and their electricity bills go up, he was going to have hell to pay.

Soonyoung was tempted not to get up and just to wallow in his misery in bed instead, but his stomach let out an ungodly grumble that made Soonyoung realize just how hungry he was. He pulled himself into a sitting position and rubbed his eyes. His vision was still a bit hazy, his brain ironically too distracted trying to be normal to actually function. He reached around for his hoodie and kicked his legs over his bed. He grabbed his phone from his desk, ignoring the blinking notification light, and pulled his bedroom door open. Soonyoung walked out into his apartment, yawning and scratching his stomach under his hoodie.

“Hey, Jun—quit blasting the air con,” Soonyoung said as he registered his roommates sitting around in the kitchen. “It’s fucking freezing in here.” Soonyoung opened the refrigerator door to grab some leftover rice.

“Are you kidding?” Jun replied from the dining table, looking up from his phone. “It’s super h—“

Jun suddenly fell silent, staring at Soonyoung with wide eyes. Soonyoung ignored Jun’s staring for a moment to grab the tub of kimchi. He’s halfway through making his breakfast when he realized, a minute later, that Wonwoo and Jihoon were staring at him too.

“What?” Soonyoung asked.

None of them reply for a long moment. Jihoon squinted at him—Soonyoung was not quite sure if it was a scrutinizing squint or a look of disgust. Wonwoo wasn’t look at him in the eye, but his brows were furrowed, like he was trying to think of something to say.

“So,” Jun finally said, eyes darting from Soonyoung to his phone and back to Soonyoung, “where were you last night? You… left pretty early last night and no one saw you leave.”

Soonyoung tore his eyes away from Jun, feeling uneasy as the events of last night flashed in his mind. He reached over to grab a pair of chopsticks from the drying rack.

“Nowhere,” he said, trying for nonchalance and eating his breakfast. “I wasn’t feeling great so I just went home,” he said after a bite of kimchi.

“Yeah?” Wonwoo finally said. “You didn’t go home with anyone?”

“No, ‘course not,” Soonyoung said, too quickly to be natural. “Didn’t hit it off with that girl from yesterday—wasn’t my type anyway.”

“Yeah, I’ll say,” Wonwoo said, raising an eyebrow.

Feeling on edge, Soonyoung finally looked up at them. “Yeah,” Soonyoung said, glaring at them. “What? Got something to say?”

“Check your phone,” Jihoon finally said, snorting as he went back to his own business.

Soonyoung frowned, pointedly getting another bite of his breakfast before checking his phone, pulling down the long sleeves that fell over his hands. He had a few messages—one from his sister asking if he took something of hers the last time she went home, one from a classmate, and a few from their friend group chat. Soonyoung opened the group chat and scrolled through his messages with his eyes peeled.

**Mingyu: uh this is a weird question. but has anyone seen my sweater??**

**The8: u have to be more specific dont u have 20000 sweaters**

**Joshua: oh no its not ‘youth is dead’ is it?? i liked that one :(**

**Mingyu: no it’s the blue and grey one**

**Mingyu: I was looking for it last night and minghao said he doesn’t have it**

Soonyoung looked up at his roommates narrowing his eyes at them suspiciously. There was no way any of them could have known that he had accidentally taken Mingyu's hoodie unless they had snooped through his closet.

Soonyoung began to try to narrow down the culprit, knowing immediately that it couldn't have been Jihoon. Jihoon almost strangled Soonyoung with his own two tiny hands the last time Soonyoung touched his stuff. The sheer memory of it made Soonyoung gulp and rub his neck subconsciously. He was sure Jihoon gave him the same amount of privacy that he expected from Soonyoung.

Could it have been Wonwoo? Wonwoo didn't seem like the invasive type at first glance, but well—let's just say Soonyoung wasn't the only one who nearly saw death at the hands of Lee Jihoon that one time. On the other hand, Wonwoo wouldn't really go through the hassle of causing trouble if someone wasn't there to snicker with him.

Soonyoung's eyes fell on Jun. Ah, now there's a culprit. Jun shared the bedroom with him and sometimes stole Soonyoung's clothes without permission. But the idea that Jun would tell the whole household that Soonyoung stole Mingyu's clothes was pretty unlike him.

Jun looked up to meet Soonyoung's scrutinizing glare and he grimaced almost apologetically. Shocked, Soonyoung opened his mouth to chew him out when Jun suddenly pointed at his own shirt collar and gingerly tugged at it.

Soonyoung stared at Jun blankly for a whole five seconds before realization dawned on him. The grey sleeves of Soonyoung’s hoodie flew up to his hoodie’s blue collar as Soonyoung subconsciously checked his outfit. Soonyoung felt his face grow hot when he heard Jihoon snickering from the table.

"Looks like someone got some last night after all," Jihoon said, taking a calm sip of his coffee as Wonwoo wolf-whistled at Soonyoung.

Feeling his face flush, feeling a weird mix of flustered and angry. Soonyoung began to pull his hoodie—no, _Mingyu’s_ hoodie—over his head. Fuck, he must've grabbed it when he woke up this morning without checking. How could he be so stupid?

After getting cartoonishly tangled in the hoodie, Soonyoung bundled the hoodie into a ball and threw it on the floor in frustration.

"Subtle," Wonwoo said, chuckling into his fist.

"Shut up," Soonyoung mumbled weakly, his face burning bright red.

"It's ok, dude. We don't really care that you and Mingyu hooked up," Wonwoo tried to assure him.

"You really needed to get laid," Jihoon said flatly.

Soonyoung rolled his eyes at them, lips curling into a sneer as he tried to keep his frustration at bay. He looked down at his food with his brows furrowed, avoiding his roommates’ gazes as he took another bite of kimchi. "Look, we didn't hook up or anything," Soonyoung finally said. And, well, technically that wasn’t _really_ a lie, so he continued with at least some semblance of confidence. "I just... borrowed his sweater. And forgot."

"Sure, okay," Jun said with a small smirk, like he knew more than he did.

That smirk really pissed Soonyoung off for some reason. "I'm serious," he said, glaring at Jun.

"You're getting way too defensive for someone who's trying to argue that he didn't do something they obviously did," Wonwoo pointed out.

"I'm not being defensive" Soonyoung argued, defensively. Wonwoo raised an eyebrow at him, smirking, and Jihoon was outright snickering at him. Jun gave him a smile that looked almost sympathetic, which was somehow what annoyed Soonyoung the most. Resisting the urge to hurl his chopsticks across the room to shut them up, Soonyoung sneered at them "You guys are annoying,” he mumbled, going back to eating his food.

The amusement in the room finally died down, replacing it with an awkwardly quiet atmosphere. Soonyoung was very conscious of his roommates now staring at him, probably in concern. Soonyoung silently prayed that they won’t probe at his sulking

“Hey,” Jihoon was the first to speak up and crush all hope of letting the subject die. Jihoon’s lips are curled into a frown that lacked the usual sternness that his frowns usually held, replaced with something like unsure concern. “You know we’re just kidding, right? We’re not actually gonna judge you if—“

“Can you guys just let it go?” Soonyoung interrupted him quickly, careful to keep himself from snapping. Any thought of Mingyu or anything that happened between them was making his chest ache with a pain that he could no longer stand. A small part of him felt panicked, reminding him that all of his sulking and anger was doing him no favors and giving himself away. But honestly, he was too emotionally drained to hide heartbreak behind half-hearted grins and forced laughter. Appetite totally lost, Soonyoung got out of his seat to throw out the rest of his food.

“Hey,” Jun began cautiously. “Is everything okay?”

“Everything’s fine,” Soonyoung answered quickly. “I’m just—there’s a lot going on right now. School. And stuff.” His excuses were weak, Soonyoung knew. He faked a yawn and stretched. “I guess I just had a really long night. I’m gonna nap.”

Wonwoo was levelling him with a thoughtful gaze, like he was thinking very hard about what to say. “Should I say something about the hoodie?” he finally said.

Soonyoung stared over at the hoodie lying on the floor behind the kitchen counter and he suddenly felt a horrible mix of both crushing sadness and earnest fondness hit him. Soonyoung picked the hoodie up and folded it carefully, trying to ignore the way the scent comforted him and also made him want to scream out his sorrows. He really didn't need everyone else thinking they hooked up. Getting over this horrible weight on his chest was hard enough without keeping every emotion Soonyoung felt under lock and key.

“No,” Soonyoung finally answered. “I’ll do something myself.”

* * *

It wasn’t until Soonyoung had thrown out ten drafts of a text a week later that he realized that Mingyu had been texting him first this whole time. This actually wasn’t that much of a surprise to Soonyoung. He was always carefully making sure he didn’t seem too eager, and tried distracting himself from how much he wanted to see Mingyu right up until Mingyu sent him a simple text that would make Soonyoung grin from ear to ear, grabbing his keys and bolting towards the dorms without another word.

The memory made Soonyoung’s chest ache and his hand clenched in a fist out of anger at himself. He sneered at his phone in frustration, as if the poor device had anything to do with his predicament. After deleting the fifteenth text, Soonyoung just scrapped the idea of giving Mingyu a heads-up altogether and headed in the direction of Mingyu's dorm before he chickened out.

When Soonyoung finally got to the dorms and walks down the hallway leading to Mingyu's room, it suddenly occurred to him that he didn't know how to go about actually giving Mingyu his hoodie back. He stood frozen in front of the door, feeling totally lost. His hand hovered in the air, trying to decide if he should knock like a normal person would.

So he’s gonna knock—and then what? Should he pretend everything was okay between them and joke around? Should he shove the hoodie at Mingyu and leave without a word? Should he confess his horrible heartbreaking love for Mingyu right then and there? ( _No,_ Soonyoung shivered in horror at the notion. _No fucking way._ )

C'mon, Kwon Soonyoung—how hard could it be? Just give back the hoodie you totally jacked off to back to the guy you ruined your chances with and go. There was nothing to think about or prepare for. It would be like ripping off a band-aid.

Soonyoung took a deep breath, finally gathering his courage and raising his hand to knock, when the door was suddenly pulled open.

Minghao was looking at him with wide eyes. When Minghao had gotten over the shock of Soonyoung hovering by the door, his lips turned to a frown.

"Hyung," Minghao began, still holding onto the door like he was blocking Soonyoung from entering. "What are you doing here?"

Soonyoung gave Minghao a forced smile that probably looked more like he was wincing. Fuck, he forgot that Mingyu lived with Minghao.

It was fine. He and Minghao were in the dance club together and they were pretty good friends. Soonyoung had nothing to be afraid of.

"Hey, Minghao," Soonyoung said, forcing himself to relax. He even threw in a little wave to play up the cheerfulness. "Is Mingyu around?"

Minghao looked over Soonyoung for a moment, lips pursed together. "What do you need him for?"

The back of Soonyoung's neck as he saw Minghao's gaze drop to the hoodie bundled under his arm. Soonyoung put on his most mischevious looking grin, trying to hide the hoodie partially behind his back. Soonyoung wracked his brain for an excuse that wasn’t going to give him away.

“Hyung?”

Soonyoung felt a weird spasm of emotions when he heard Mingyu’s voice—a mix of comfortable happiness that automatically appeared whenever Soonyoung heard him and horrible anxiety when Soonyoung remembered that they were no longer on speaking terms. The door was gently pulled out of Minghao’s grasp and Soonyoung’s eyes immediately look up to Mingyu when he appears in the doorway.

Soonyoung felt like the air was being knocked out of his lungs at the mere sight of Mingyu. It had only been about a week of out-right avoidance and it wasn’t like Soonyoung had forgotten how attracted he was to Mingyu, but it was different seeing him in person.

Mingyu almost towered over them, even as he leaned against the doorframe. He’s wearing a slim-fit dress shirt and a pair of dark jeans that weren’t too loose, but not too tight—perfect for showing off his toned and slender frame. Mingyu’s head is slightly tilted in a cute way and Soonyoung can’t help but examine his face. His eyes were still big and innocent and his lips were still in that slightly parted expression that made him look a little sultry even when he didn’t mean to be. Aside from the college-issue hint of bags under his eyes, Mingyu still looked good. Soonyoung felt a little relieved to see that Mingyu was doing well. He also allowed himself to feel a little bitter at the fact that Mingyu was doing totally fine without him while Soonyoung, in his worn-out long-sleeved shirt and barf-colored sweat pants, was a total mess.

Soonyoung’s warring emotions were washed away by overwhelming feelings of longing and bitterness, and found himself at a loss for something to say to Mingyu.

“I missed you” is what Soonyoung eventually realized he wanted to say in that moment, but he kept his lips sealed, heart heavy in his chest.

“Hey,” Minghao said, turning to Mingyu and snapping Soonyoung out of his dazed yearning. Soonyoung had almost forgotten that Minghao was there for a moment. Minghao’s brows are furrowed. “What are you doing?”

“It’s fine,” Mingyu said, face blank. His eyes meet Soonyoung’s and Soonyoung felt his heart leap in his chest. Mingyu motioned for Soonyoung to come inside and Soonyoung was thrown for a loop.

Minghao seemed just as confused as Soonyoung, still not stepping out of the way for Soonyoung to come in. “Do you…” Minghao began to ask Mingyu, sounding hesitant. “Should I stay?”

“What am I—ten?” Mingyu asked with a snort. There was a small smile on his lips that doesn’t quite meet his eyes as he waved Minghao away. “Don’t you have somewhere you should be?”

Minghao didn’t respond, but still looked concerned. Nonetheless, he stepped out of the way for Soonyoung to step into the dorm room, casting Soonyoung and Mingyu a worried look before closing the door behind him as he left.

After the door closed with a click, Soonyoung found the room enveloped in a stifling silence that made it hard to even breathe. Soonyoung stood in front of the door, hoodie in his hands, unsure of what to say as Mingyu stood in front of a wall mirror, fixing his hair half-heartedly.

Soonyoung searched for something to say, desperate to dispel the tension. He stared at Mingyu's reflection in the mirror, his chest feeling tight like he was finding it hard to breathe.

"You look really good," he finally said before he could stop himself, unable to keep the fondness from his voice.

Mingyu's hand froze for a brief moment and Soonyoung could see Mingyu looking at him through the mirror. Soonyoung felt mortified. He could have said _anything_ and he just went ahead and went the totally not-subtle route?

Soonyoung quickly looked away, avoiding Mingyu's imploring gaze and running a hand through his hair. "Because, I mean—you’re all dressed up and stuff," Soonyoung said. "You going somewhere or something?"

When Soonyoung looked up, Mingyu was looking at his own reflection again, fixing whatever part of his outfit mindlessly. Like he was trying to distract himself.

"Yeah," Mingyu finally said after a while. He turned around to look at Soonyoung, eyes soft and looking slightly hesitant. "I have a date tonight."

Soonyoung looked away quickly, trying to think of an appropriate response. Normally, he'd be the most supportive person when it came to his friends dating. He'd throw an arm around them and nudge them playfully, ask if their date had any cute friends so they could make it a double date with his cheeky smile. But now, Soonyoung found himself speechless, mind feeling horribly empty.

"Oh," Soonyoung murmured. It was all he could think to say.

Part of Soonyoung wasn't really surprised. How else would he explain the grooming and very obvious date outfit, like Mingyu had someone he wanted to impress? Even though Soonyoung felt like Mingyu had no reason to dress up when all he had to do to make the world stop and stare was smile.

Nevertheless, something ugly and bitter settled in Soonyoung's gut and Soonyoung felt like total shit. He had no right to be feeling jealous and wronged when he had couldn't even gather up the nerve to admit to himself that he was in love with Mingyu until they were too deep. Now Mingyu probably thought he was a creep or something.

"Well," Soonyoung spoke up again, trying to keep his voice light and casual despite the bile he can taste on the back of his tongue. Soonyoung raised up the hoodie for Mingyu to see. "I just came over to drop this off. So..."

Mingyu's eyes fell to the hoodie and his eyes grew wide. "Ah," Mingyu said simply, an expression crossing over his eyes. Something tugged at Soonyoung's heart, like a tiny bit of hope as he examined Mingyu's softening expression.

Mingyu looked away from him quickly, looking slightly lost. "You can just throw that on my bed. I can—“

"Mingyu-ah," Soonyoung said, his voice the firmest it had been since he entered the room. He felt weirdly relieved just from saying Mingyu's name, like a small weight was starting to lift from his chest. Mingyu looked at him with wide eyes, lips slightly parted. "We need to talk."

Mingyu looked away quickly. "You said so yourself, hyung," he said coldly. "There's nothing to talk about."

Soonyoung figured he kind of deserved that one, but he persisted. "Look, I just want to—“

Mingyu shot him a glare that effectively silenced him. "' _You_ want to?' I wanted to talk last time, but you basically told me to shut up," Mingyu spat. "I'm tired of doing things at your pace all the time, hyung." Soonyoung stared at him in disbelief as Mingyu ran a hand through his hair. "Look, hyung, I have somewhere to be so—“

Before Soonyoung could stop himself, he balled up the hoodie and threw it at Mingyu. The taller boy let out an indignant squeak when it hit his face. Usually, Soonyoung would have laughed at the scene, but he felt frustration building in him, directed at both Mingyu and himself.

"We're doing things at _my_ pace?" Soonyoung asked, hands clenched into fists. " _You’re_ the one calling me over whenever you want and then kicking me out—making me all confused."

Mingyu scoffed. "I'm confusing _you_?"

"Yeah! You are!" Soonyoung snarled in response.

"Wow, that's rich," Mingyu sneered, stomping towards him. "You're the one confusing _me_ —telling me that we're friends and then saying stuff that makes me—“ Mingyu suddenly froze, wide eyes with horror at what he was about to say. Even with all the anger building up inside him, Soonyoung found himself clinging to Mingyu's every word.

"What?" Soonyoung urged, trying to keep the genuine curiosity from his voice.

Mingyu's face turned bright red and he turned away quickly. "Nothing," he said, beginning to step away.

"Oh, hell no," Soonyoung growled, grabbing Mingyu by the wrist and spinning him around. "See what I mean? You're keeping things from me! What—did I finally weird you out? What do you want from me, Mingyu?"

Mingyu pulled his wrist out of Soonyoung's grasp. "You can't give me what I want," Mingyu said with a coldness that stung. However, the edges of Mingyu's voices crack and his eyes start to tear up.

Soonyoung was thrown in for a loop, feeling panicked. "Why are you the one crying?" Soonyoung asked.  his own voice wavering. Out of instinct, his hands fly up to cup Mingyu's cheeks, feeling suddenly protective even though this was definitely Soonyoung's fault. If only he knew _why_ it was his fault that'd be great. "Fuck, please don't cry."

Mingyu sniffled as Soonyoung reached up to wipe away the tears with his sleeve. Mingyu swatted his hand away half-heartedly. "I'm not crying," Mingyu said, almost petulantly.

Amidst the total and complete confusion, Soonyoung still felt frustrated. Wasn't _he_ the one getting his heart broken? Why the hell was Mingyu crying? Guilt?

"Hey—" Soonyoung began again when the door suddenly flew open and the sound of Seungkwan's excited voice and Minghao's hesitant warnings filled the room.

And then, suddenly, the room fell totally silent as Seungkwan stared between Mingyu and Soonyoung in disbelief, Minghao sent an accusing glare at Soonyoung, Soonyoung's mouth fell open devoid of any way to explain himself, and Mingyu just wiped his eyes.

"Uh," Seungkwan's eyes darted frantically between the two of them. "Should we... leave you two alone or...?"

Before Soonyoung could even answer, there was a hand on his back that made him jump.

"No," came Mingyu's reply, still a bit shaky. "Soonyoung-hyung was just about to leave."

By the time his words finally registered in Soonyoung's brain, he was shoved out the door and there was a loud slam behind him. Soonyoung turned around see to the, unsurprisingly, shut door. He stood in the hallway, trying to make sense of the whole conversation before wringing his hands through his hair with an annoyed groan.

"What the fuck just happened?"

* * *

Soonyoung had hoped for a tiny grace period to gather his thoughts before Seungkwan, with his tendency to gossip, said anything to anyone. However, as luck would have it, Soonyoung only had a mere twelve hours before Seungkwan effectively told their entire friend group that Soonyoung had made Mingyu cry.

Soonyoung came back from the bar around mid-evening, hoping to distract himself from Mingyu who was probably on his stupid date. The alcohol only made him feel even more pathetic than he already was and he went home after one drink. You know, like a loser.

The apartment was dark and quiet when Soonyoung got back. He shuffled around in the dark for a bit, relying on the light of his phone to make his way around to the kitchen. He felt around the wall for the light switched and flicked it on. The light flickered for a bit to reveal three figures sitting by the counter, looking at him intently.

Soonyoung cursed loudly, jumping back against the wall with a hand over his heart as their shitty kitchen light finally turned itself on.

From the counter, Wonwoo turned around to face Soonyoung while Jun gave him a little wave from the other side. Jihoon beckoned to the empty seat across from him. “Why don’t you have a seat, Soonyoung?”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Soonyoung asked incredulously, panting heavily. “I almost shat myself!”

“You’re going to actually shit yourself if you don’t sit down in the next five seconds,” Jihoon said, raising an eyebrow.

“What’s this about?” Soonyoung asked, swinging his legs over the barstool nonetheless. “If this is about the toilet getting backed up, I swear to God, Wonwoo went before me so—“

“What’s going on between you and Mingyu?” Jihoon interrupted him evenly.

Soonyoung closed his eyes, and even though he knew there was no point in denying it, he tried anyway because he’s nothing if not stubborn. “There’s nothing—“

“Hey, listen,” Wonwoo interrupted him, voice low. He scratched the back of his neck and his brows furrowed, like he was thinking very hard about what to say. “You’ve been off your game for a while now and we’re your friends. I know all of us are kind of emotionally constipated—“

“Except me,” Jun quipped quickly.

“—except Jun,” Wonwoo agreed, “but Jun’s kind of a freak, so that evens things out.”

“The point is we’re here to listen to you, okay?” Jun said, voice soft and kind. “If you don’t want to keep bottling things up.”

Soonyoung looked at his roommates, feeling weirdly touched at how hard they were trying to help him when all of them were really bad at talking about feelings. Wonwoo, who always kept to himself and was in his own head. Jihoon, who was kind of scowling and not one to show his emotions overtly. Even Junhui sometimes got shy when it came to talking about himself. Soonyoung himself was always extreme, either getting too angry or making jokes when he shouldn’t. And yet, Soonyoung knew that, if it were one of them, he’d be just as worried.

Soonyoung took a deep breath and then gave them a little sideways grin, “It’s a lot of drama,” he said.

Jun, Wonwoo, and Jihoon all looked at him, then each other, and finally smiled. Jihoon leaned down for a moment, before lifting up a case of soju onto the counter, bottles clinking against each other merrily.

“We’ve got a long night,” Jihoon said, tearing the box open.

Soonyoung told them everything he thought was appropriate for them to hear—the first night they hooked up, the way he tried to avoid confronting his feelings for Mingyu, the almost-confession, and the whole aftermath right up to Mingyu leaving the bar that night. He kept the racier details out, not on any conscious effort of his own, but because every time he started lamenting about sad sex, Jihoon booed him loudly from across the counter.

They were only about an hour in when Wonwoo, who only had half a bottle before stopping, took away their drinks, telling that they were all too light-weight for this even after Jihoon’s great show of pulling out the bottles and that they were going to ruin the chemical balance of blah blah blah. Soonyoung was leaning his cheek against the counter, feeling somber and Jun was petting his hair, trying to comfort him.

“Frankly, I think you’re being kind of a dick,” Jihoon said, expression neutral as he leaned his cheek in his hand, flicking a bottle cap across the counter.

“I know,” Soonyoung muttered.

“You didn’t even tell him anything and spent all that time pretending nothing was up—of course you confused him,” Jihoon continued. “What’s a guy supposed to think after all that?”

Soonyoung let out a sigh. “I know… But what am I supposed to do?”

“Tell him?” Wonwoo offered as he rolled an empty bottle on its side back and forth.

Soonyoung lifted his head off the table, staring at Wonwoo in disbelief. “What part of ‘I didn’t wanna ruin our friendship’ did you not understand?”

Wonwoo shrugged, giving the bottle a push so that it rolled across the counter towards Jun, who stopped it with his finger and started rolling it back.

“That’s fair, I guess?” Jun said. “But, there’s not much of a friendship left if you guys keep this up anyway.”

Soonyoung groaned, letting his head fall into his hands. “I ruined everything.”

“Don’t give up so easily,” Jun said. “I mean, yes, you did ruin a lot—“ Soonyoung looked up to glare at him, “but that doesn’t mean it’s too late to fix things. Maybe the both of you have to have a talk.”

Soonyoung ran a hand through his hair. “No, he’s right. I don’t think there’s a lot to talk about after all,” Soonyoung muttered hopelessly. “He probably thinks I’m a weirdo who took advantage of him and liked him all this time or something.”

“Honestly, if you like him, I don’t really see how there’s a huge problem,” Wonwoo said. “Maybe you can just take things slow if you don’t want to rush into a serious relationship.”

Soonyoung rolled his eyes at Wonwoo’s advice. “That would actually require him liking me back,” Soonyoung said.

“Yeah, so?” Wonwoo asked.

“So... he doesn’t?” Soonyoung said slowly, like he was explaining to a child.

All of his roommates suddenly looked at him with wide eyes, then back at each other, then back at him in disbelief. Soonyoung suddenly felt like he was missing out on something very big.

“Why are you guys staring at me like that?” Soonyoung asked cautiously, slightly afraid to know the answer.

“Wait, you really don’t know?” Wonwoo asked.

“Don’t know what?”

“Uh, I don’t know if it’s really my place to say…” Jun said, fidgeting uneasily.

“I mean, it’s kind of obvious,” Wonwoo added.

“That does explain everything, though,” Jun said.

Soonyoung glared at them, getting frustrated. “What the hell are you—“

“Mingyu likes you, dude,” Jihoon said abruptly. “As in, _likes you_ likes you. He’s had a big crush on you since our second year.”

Soonyoung was silent for a long moment, unable to wrap this information around his head. His mouth opened and closed like a fish as he tried to think of something eloquent to say.

“You guys are just being mean,” Soonyoung finally said, frowning.

“Hey—we’re not dense assholes like you,” Jihoon said.

“ _Some of us_ aren’t,” Wonwoo corrected him, only to get ignored.

Soonyoung shook his head. “That makes no goddamn sense. Why would Mingyu like _me_? He’s Kim Mingyu! And I’m…” Soonyoung trailed off, unwilling to get into his low self-esteem right now of all times. It wasn’t even like he had a bad opinion of himself to begin with, but he was just very… average in comparison to fucking Adonis himself.

“Do you even hear yourself talking?” Jihoon asked. “Yeah, he’s Kim Mingyu—the clumsiest loser we know. And he clings to you like a fucking leech.”

Soonyoung’s lips pulled into a frown. “He does that to everyone,” Soonyoung said. “Besides he’s cute and looks hot as hell. And he’d be a good boyfriend—anyone would be lucky to have him. You’d have to be blind not to want him.”

Jun let out a small hum of thought. “It’s a wonder how he hasn’t dated anyone since he met you, isn’t it?”

Soonyoung opened his mouth to retort, but found that he had nothing to say. He couldn’t quite believe what his friends were saying to him. Soonyoung watched as the empty bottle rolled between Wonwoo and Jun, lost in his own thoughts.

“Hey, if it helps at all,” Wonwoo said. “Mingyu can get clingy with a lot of people, but I’ve never seen him so whiny with anyone but you.”

Soonyoung didn’t answer, electing to lay his chin on the countertop instead. His mind was a little too frazzled to handle all of this at once. He tilted his head up slightly from where his chin rested to look at Jihoon.

“Jihoon, can I have some of your ice cream?” Soonyoung asked, voice a little whiny. He reached out to swat at Jihoon’s elbow resting on the counter.

Jihoon stared at him for a long moment before sighing. “God, you would make one annoying, clingy as fuck couple.”

* * *

It had been a few days and Soonyoung still couldn't really make sense of everything his friends have told him. The thought that this whole time he spent trying to deny his feelings and pining could babe been avoided was kind of frustrating. But it also made him feel hopeful in a way that was dangerous.

So, yeah, Soonyoung was still kind of avoiding things. Sue him. Even if Mingyu _did_ like him at all, he was moving on. At least Soonyoung wasn't at the brink of tears all the time anymore.

Granted, Soonyoung still wasn't quite at his A-game. During dance club practices, he's messed up his own choreography enough to the point where it was not even just embarrassing. Soonyoung was now starting to get more of a I've-never-danced-before-in-my-life-I-better-quit-now vibe from the way he tripped over his own feet ten seconds into the song.

After all the members had left the club, Soonyoung stayed back to practice his footwork. Chan was kind enough to stay with him, pressing a cool water bottle against his neck when Soonyoung sat down on the floor to take a breath.

"Thanks," Soonyoung said, uncapping the bottle and taking a long sip.

"No problem, hyung," Chan said brightly. What a good kid. Soonyoung figured he'd keep him around.

Chan checked his phone, biting his lip nervously. Soonyoung tilted his head back to look at him, one eyebrow raised.

"Everything okay over there, Channie?" Soonyoung teased.

Chan's eyes snapped up from his phone. "Ah, yeah. Everything's fine. I... just need to grab something from a friend really quickly," he said. "I'll be right back."

Chan was definitely acting kind of shifty and normally, Soonyoung would be more concerned. However, right now he just wanted to catch his breath.

"Okay," Soonyoung replied. He watched Chan's retreating back, throwing in a quick "Don't talk to strangers!" before Chan disappeared around the corner.

And now, the practice room was totally empty. Soonyoung closed his eyes and took deep breaths. His mind wandered, trying to decide if he should get some street food after practice, wondering how much trouble he'd get into if he showed up to discussion late tomorrow.

Soonyoung wondered how Mingyu was doing. He wondered if Mingyu ever got around to finishing that drama they started a few weeks ago. Soonyoung hadn’t. Probably because part of him was still hopeful that they could finish it together some time.

Soonyoung’s mind wandered on. He wondered how Mingyu’s date went. It probably went great. Mingyu was cute and fun and people fell for him upon meeting. Soonyoung took a deep breath, letting out a sigh so slow that he could physically feel his lungs moving, trying to relieve the throbbing in his chest.

Fuck, he had no right to be feeling this way. He was being a goddamn coward about everything until it was too late, so what right did he have to act like his heart was broken? Now, all he was left with was a lot of regret—wishing he had said something or that he had accepted things sooner. Or at the very least apologized. But despite all of the self-deprecation, Soonyoung couldn’t help but find himself lingering in thoughts of Mingyu. Because god dammit, Soonyoung really fucking missed Mingyu.

He missed being around Mingyu, being leaning on his shoulder as they watched something stupid and got excited together. He missed mooching off of Mingyu’s food, reaching over to steal a bite right in front of Mingyu and smiling at the way Mingyu’s lips would pull into a pout even though his eyes were bright and cheerful. Soonyoung missed joking around with him, teasing him, laughing with him. He missed the way Mingyu would thread his fingers through his hair, lulling Soonyoung into a comfortable daze. He missed the way Mingyu would slide up next to him and lean up against him, their heights perfect for cuddling, and try to get his attention with a very simple—

“Hyung?”

Soonyoung’s eyes opened wide and he jerked up immediately into a sitting position. He turned around to see Mingyu standing in the doorway. He’s wearing an old-looking, but cute sweater with frayed edges, and his hands fiddle with the strap of his backpack.

 _Ah,_ Soonyoung thought for a split second. _He’s still cute._

Soonyoung was too stunned by his appearance to even form words. Mingyu was chewing on his bottom lip, looking hesitant. “I can come back later—“

“No, it’s fine,” Soonyoung said, scrambling to his feet. He fixed his hair subconsciously, suddenly horribly aware of how bad he smelled and how sweaty he probably looked. “I, uh—I’m about to leave. So.”

“Oh,” Mingyu said, frowning. He stepped in, eyes darting around the room as if he’s searching for something. “Minghao told me he left his jacket here...?” Mingyu’s eyes meet Soonyoung’s, and Soonyoung immediately felt horribly awkward.

Soonyoung tried to casually take a sip out of his water bottle, breaking eye contact to get a fucking grip. He wiped the back of his mouth with his hand, before nodding over in the direction of the chairs standing in the corner. “It might be over there—I think I saw it an hour ago.”

Mingyu gave him a curt nod in thanks and walked over to the chairs. Soonyoung turned away, bouncing on his feet in an attempt to get rid of all the sudden nervous energy inside of him.

He could say something now. They’re not angry at each other and have had time to cool down. Maybe not even to confess. Just _apologize_ at least. _Now_ , Soonyoung.

Out of the corner of his eye, Soonyoung sees Mingyu rifle through the clothes thrown on the chairs. He pulled out a black jacket and looked at it for a while before folding it up in his arms.

Soonyoung uncapped his water and started taking a sip, feeling defeated. He couldn’t do it.

Suddenly, Soonyoung suddenly became aware of the sound of footsteps at the door, and then the barely audible sounds of someone’s bag hitting the floor near the studio door. He recognized the vague figure of Chan by the door and turned to actually address him.

“Hey, Channie, let’s go through it one—“ Soonyoung froze when he registered the sight of Minghao in the doorway, holding a chair and Chan removing the wedge that they used to keep the door open.

All of them stare at each other for a minute and Soonyoung felt totally confused. Then, he saw Chan look very quickly between him and Mingyu and darting away.

“Oh, _fuck_ , no,” Soonyoung said out loud, sprinting towards the door right as Chan started to close it. Soonyoung had his palms against the door right before it could close, ready to push with all his might when the door suddenly slammed closed. A sharp pain jolted Soonyoung right on his nose as he fell back against the floor with a yelp. Soonyoung heard the sound of something sliding against the door and saw Minghao peeking through the little studio window.

Soonyoung clutched his nose painfully and snarled, something wet dripping onto his palm. “Hey!” he shouted.

Minghao just shrugged at him through the window and mouthed sorry, even though he barely looked apologetic. When Minghao moved away from the window, Chan showed up and shot him a thumbs up before disappearing alongside Minghao.

“Soonyoung-hyung!” Mingyu darted over to Soonyoung, his face etched with worry as he gently turned Soonyoung’s face towards him. “Shit, you’re bleeding! Are you okay?”

“Perfect,” Soonyoung answered, voice nasally as blood dripped from his nostrils. Even in all the pain, Soonyoung couldn’t help but feel a tiny bit of elation at the way Mingyu worried his lip between his teeth as he examined him, brows knit together in pure concern.

Mingyu fumbled with his backpack, searching through it before pulling out a dark handkerchief. Mingyu’s fingers gingerly touched Soonyoung’s cheek, tilting his head up to face Mingyu. Mingyu looked at him closely and with such intensity that Soonyoung felt like the room was suddenly unbearably hot.

“Are you okay?” Mingyu asked, sounding a bit frazzled. “Is anything broken?”

“No, I don’t think so,” Soonyoung said. “It’s more just a shock than pain.”

The worry lines on Mingyu’s forehead began to relax. “Move your hand?” Mingyu asked. Soonyoung complied obediently, tilting his head back to stop the blood from dripping onto his lap. Mingyu lifted the handkerchief to his nose. “Just hold that and pinch that for me,” Mingyu instructed gently. Soonyoung gave a small note of agreement, raising his hand up to the handkerchief. His hand stuttered a little when their hands graze across each other and Mingyu moved his hand away.

They were silent for a while, unsure of what to say. Soonyoung was hyper aware of Mingyu’s fingertips pressed delicately against his jaw and the overwhelming smell of Mingyu suddenly so close to him. Soonyoung had almost forgotten how comfortable Mingyu’s entire presence made him.

Mingyu was staring at him, eyes gentle, but focused, like he was thinking of something really hard.

Soonyoung wondered if some kind benevolent force took pity on him and froze time for just a moment. Just so Soonyoung could enjoy being with Mingyu for a while.

He took that thought back immediately when something suddenly itched the back of his throat and he let out a tiny cough. Mingyu blinked and looked confused for a moment, like he was just snapped of a spell. Mingyu’s face suddenly turned bright red, as if he was suddenly aware of the position they were in with Mingyu caressing Soonyoung’s face while he leaned over him, and Mingyu flinched away quickly.

“I-I—“ Mingyu stammered. His eyes quickly dart away and he scratched his neck. “You, uh—you should probably tilt your head back down. So the blood doesn’t get in your throat,” he muttered.

“Ah,” Soonyoung tilted his head forward, looking up bashfully at Mingyu through his eyelashes. “Thanks.”

Mingyu simply nodded in acknowledgement, settling on the floor with his arms wrapped around his knees. Soonyoung looked away from him, wondering if he should do anything about the palpable awkwardness in the room. He casted a quick glance at Mingyu, noticing how Mingyu’s eyes shifted away right as Soonyoung looked up. Soonyoung found himself mimicking the action when Mingyu’s head turned toward him.

Soonyoung was painfully aware of how ridiculous he looked at the moment, with his nose buried in Mingyu’s handkerchief and his hair still slightly damp with sweat. Definitely not what one would usually consider “dating material.” He figured that this moment—the one where his friends finally locked him and Mingyu up somewhere to talk about their problems—was going to happen at some point. He just wished it didn’t have to come with his nose getting brutally assaulted. Now hardly seems like the time to confess your secret undying love or whatever.

However, Soonyoung was never the type to be able to sit through awkward silences, so Soonyoung finally opened his mouth, lifting his head to look at Mingyu.

“Mingyu—“

“Soonyoung-hyung—“

They blinked at each other for a moment, awkwardness increasing ten-fold at the fact that they had just both spoken at the same time. They waited for a brief moment for the other to continue.

“What were you say—“

“Could you repeat—“

Both of them stopped again. Mingyu chewed on his bottom lip nervously.

Soonyoung smiled sheepishly, only to realize that Mingyu couldn’t see his lips under the handkerchief. “Go ahead,” Soonyoung urged him.

“No, it’s okay, hyung,” Mingyu insisted. “You can go first.”

They stared at each other for a while, before both of them began to laugh.

“Hey, since when were you so polite to your hyung?” Soonyoung teased.

Mingyu rolled his eyes, lips still curled in a smile that warmed Soonyoung’s heart. “And since when did you let people talk when you wanted to talk?”

Soonyoung chuckled, his heart feeling a little bit lighter. “Touché,” he responded. Soonyoung shifted his legs, taking a moment to check his nose. The bleeding was starting to stop really quickly and the pain was mostly gone. “No, but really—you first.”

Mingyu opened his mouth to protest, but seemed to think better of it. His lips pursed together in a thin line and his eyebrows knotted together. Soonyoung waited patiently for Mingyu to say his piece, on the edge of his totally figurative seat. Mingyu scratched his head, lips pulled into a tiny wince. "I just wanted to say... Thank you. For bringing back my hoodie."

"Oh," Soonyoung said, slightly surprised. "That’s it? I mean—yeah, of course. I'm the one who accidentally took it in the first place. It was too big for me anyway," Soonyoung said, his voice soft but teasing, as his lips curled into a small grin.

Mingyu's lips quirked, then he smiled. Soonyoung found himself holding his breath as Mingyu chuckled a little, the corner of his eyes crinkling. Soonyoung’s heart throbbed with his chest and he had to look away quickly before he acted on the impulse to lean forward and kiss him.

The quiet between them for a brief moment was still awkward, but softer now. Out of the corner of his eye Soonyoung could see Mingyu looking at him calmly.

“What were you going to say?” Mingyu asked.

“Ah,” Soonyoung began, suddenly feeling hesitant all over again. He avoided looking into Mingyu’s eyes, rubbing back of his neck as he began to lose his nerve. “I just… uh, was wondering… How your date went?”

Mingyu raised his eyebrows, looking confused. “’Date’?” he repeated.

Soonyoung finally looked directly at Mingyu, suddenly confused. Wait, Mingyu _did_ say he was going on a date, right? Soonyoung could be kind of a fool at times, but he wasn’t delusional. He was pretty sure Mingyu saying explicitly that he was going on a date would be hard for Soonyoung to understand.

“You know,” Soonyoung continued somewhat hesitantly. “On Friday? I came over? You were getting all dressed up for a date?” As Soonyoung and Mingyu stared at each other, Soonyoung started to doubt himself when he saw that Mingyu’s expression was totally blank. Feeling embarrassed, Soonyoung began to open his mouth to apologize, when he saw Mingyu’s eyes suddenly go wide.

“Ah!” Mingyu exclaimed energetically at his slow reaction. He even clapped his hands and pointed at Soonyoung, very obviously just figuring it out. “Right! My date! It—uh, it…” Mingyu trailed off, the tops of his ears turning red as he scratched his head. “It was fine. You know—dates.”

Soonyoung quirked an eyebrow at Mingyu’s blatant cover up. After getting to know Mingyu for the past few years, one thing Soonyoung knew for sure (and had always secretly endeared) was that Kim Mingyu was a terrible liar.

“Do I know?” Soonyoung asked, feigning innocence.

“Sure!” Mingyu said a little to excitedly. “It was—you know. We went… to a date place.”

“Uh huh.”

“And we… watched a movie,” Mingyu said, eyes shifting.

“Oh, yeah? What movie?” Soonyoung asked with a stern frown.

“Uh,” Mingyu gave him a forced smile. “ _Cars_?”

Soonyoung narrowed his eyes at him. “You’re a terrible liar, you know,” he said. “What’s up? Why are you lying to me about your date?”

Mingyu looked down at his feet, pulling his knees closer to his chest. “I’m not,” he murmured, completely unconvincingly.

“Hey, you’re okay, right? Was it just really bad?” Soonyoung asked, totally lost.

“No, it’s not that,” Mingyu answered, biting his lip.

Why the hell would Mingyu forget about his date and then lie about it while looking so uncomfortable? Soonyoung wracked his brain for possible explanations, ranging from ‘his date stood him up’ to ‘his date was embarrassing’ to ‘Mingyu accidentally spilled hot water all over his date’. Suddenly, a single thought crossed Soonyoung’s mind and he saw a flash of red.

Soonyoung leaned forward, cupping Mingyu’s cheeks and taking a closer look at his face. Mingyu’s skin was warm underneath his palms and he almost missed the way Mingyu’s cheeks dusted pink in his concerned frenzy. “Hey—no one did anything to you, right? You’re okay?”

“What? No! I just—“ Mingyu bit his lip, trying to stop his words from coming out. However, he was totally unsuccessful as he suddenly swatted Soonyoung’s hands away, and his whole face turned bright red. “I didn’t go on any date. I was just going out with Minghao and Seungkwan for the night.”

Soonyoung stared at Mingyu for a moment, hands hovering in the air. In the back of his mind, Soonyoung had been wishing that Mingyu wasn’t actually seeing someone—that Soonyoung still had a chance. But somehow, this news made Soonyoung feel like he was shot in the chest.

“Oh,” Soonyoung said, settling on the back of his legs. His heart clenched in his chest and he could feel the prickling of tears in the back of his eyes. Soonyoung had been kind of suspecting Mingyu was purposely avoiding him because he wanted nothing to do with Soonyoung, but it still hurt. Especially after seeing the way Mingyu fussed over him just seconds before as if he cared.

Soonyoung’s eyes dropped to his knees and he forced himself to give a little chuckle, trying to force himself to lighten up. “You know, if you really didn’t want me around, you could have just told me to get lost,” Soonyoung said, his voice quiet. He couldn’t even bring himself to force a smile. “I know things are weird, but we’re still friends.”

“Wait, no—“ Mingyu said, brows furrowed. “Hyung, that’s not what I—“

“Then what did you mean?” Soonyoung said. He expected his voice to be scathing, but instead he could barely choke out the words, sounding a little hurt. “Why would you lie about going on a date with someone other than to get rid of me?”

“I mean, I was… trying to get rid of you,” Mingyu said, looking uneasy. His hands are grasped tightly together and he had shifted into a cross-legged sitting position. “But… I just thought that would be the best for us.”

“’Best for us’?” Soonyoung asked incredulously. Although his eyes still stung slightly with the tears he was holding back, he felt frustration start to build up in him again, feeling confused and hurt. “I don’t know about you, but that was the worst. Why would you ever think that?”

Mingyu looked directly at Soonyoung, and eyes that were conflicted and confused suddenly glared at Soonyoung with a frustration that could match his own. “What else could I do?” Mingyu asked with a steady tone. “This whole time you’ve kept confusing me. You kept saying things like ‘we’re just friends’, but then getting mad when I try to act like friends. Then you kept saying things like ‘you’re mine’, but then saying you didn’t mean it. You hit on some random person, but get all mad when I try to move on!”

Soonyoung just watched as Mingyu went on, frustration waning with every word that spilled past Mingyu’s lips only to be replaced by curiosity and a tiny bit of hope that Soonyoung couldn’t place just yet. The edges of Mingyu’s voice are starting to crack a little, but his tone was as sure as Soonyoung had ever heard it.

Mingyu stopped to take a breath, closing his eyes slowly. When he opened them again, his expression grew soft. “Soonyoung-hyung,” Mingyu said, his breath a little shaky. “I’ve dropped a lot of hints, and they’re kind of hard to miss.”

Slowly, Soonyoung’s brain was fitting each puzzle piece in place. Surprisingly, even with all of Soonyoung’s usual expressiveness, his expression didn’t change at all. His mind was too busy riding on a euphoric high. (In the back of his mind, he could imagine all of his roommates clinking their cheap dollar-store wine glasses together in a toast, celebrating being right.)

“Mingyu,” Soonyoung began, trying to keep his voice steady despite the frantic thrumming of his heart, “do you like me?”

Mingyu frowned—no, _pouted_ , like a child being teased. “Of course I do,” Mingyu said, his voice soft and beautiful.

“No, but, like,” Soonyoung leaned forward eagerly, watching Mingyu’s expression with careful consideration. “I mean, do you _like_ like me? As in, do you want to _date_ me?”

Mingyu looked shocked when Soonyoung leaned forward, accidentally getting so close that Soonyoung could detect the faint smell of Mingyu’s shampoo. Then, Mingyu clicked his tongue and glared at him.

“Hey, are you really teasing me right now?” Mingyu said, tone suddenly lacking all formality. “I’ve made it pretty clear that I’m fucking _in love_ with you, so if you’re going to reject me, then—“

Before Mingyu could even finish his sentence, Soonyoung leaned forward, pressing his lips against Mingyu’s firmly. Mingyu kissed back, tilting his head instinctively and his eyes fluttering closed. It’s a chaste kiss and only lasted for a brief moment, but time seemed to freeze for those few precious seconds and Soonyoung’s heart drummed to a wonderful beat. Soonyoung wanted to make sure that Mingyu understood and that neither of them were holding anything back anymore.

When the kiss broke, Soonyoung’s heart was still soaring. In his euphoria, he almost missed the look of confusion and the tiny bit of hurt that showed on Mingyu’s face.

“I love you,” Soonyoung assured him quickly and breathlessly before Mingyu could misunderstand. “Sorry, I just—I wanted to do that so bad, but god I love you, Mingyu.”

“Wait, really?” Mingyu asked, looking shocked. “You mean it?”

“I do,” Soonyoung said. “I thought you knew.” Soonyoung leaned back a little, giving both of them a moment to catch their breath. “I thought that you thought I was creepy or something so you were avoiding me.”

“What? Why would I—“ Mingyu paused as the realization suddenly dawned on him, his eyes growing wide and his mouth falling open slightly. “Wait, did you not know that I…?”

Soonyoung gave him a tiny apologetic smile. “We’re both pretty dense, aren’t we?”

Mingyu closed his eyes, letting out a heavy sigh as if he were exasperated. Nevertheless, his lips were curled in a smile. “We’re stupid.”

“It took our friends locking us in a room together to figure that out,” Soonyoung chuckled, leaning in to press his forehead against Mingyu’s. Mingyu hummed, leaning into his touch as Soonyoung placed his hand on the back of Mingyu’s neck.

Soonyoung looked at Mingyu, feeling warm affection all over. His eyes trailed over Mingyu’s dark eyelashes, casting shadows over his cheeks, down to the natural pout of Mingyu’s lips. Soonyoung felt overwhelmed by how close Mingyu was and how much he missed him. And in the back of his mind, a voice sung in exhilaration repeating “ _he loves me, he loves me, he loves me._ ”

Mingyu’s eyes fluttered open and Soonyoung felt the breath knocked out of him at the intensity of Mingyu’s gaze.

“Hyung,” Mingyu began, voice low and beautiful.

It was a tone that Soonyoung had grown familiar with and very fond of. Soonyoung’s lips pulled into a mischievous little smirk and the room suddenly felt a little too warm. “Yeah?”

“Kiss me again,” Mingyu said, his request hardly a question.

But really, he didn’t even need to ask. Soonyoung chuckled and pulled Mingyu in for another kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wipes the sweat off my brow holy fuck... I actually finished a multichapter fic.  
> Sorry that there was no porn in this last chapter?? I felt like it was kind of inappropriate with all the feelings and angst going on. Plus, I put sex and Soonyoung jacking off in the second chapter, so I felt like that was making up for this.  
> That said, if enough people want it, I might be willing to throw in a purely smut and fluff epilogue. So if you want love and purity but also porn, please let me know!  
> Thanks so much for sticking around for this fic! There really isn't enough Mingyu/Soonyoung on AO3 so I hope I was willing to contribute to it well lmaoo. I hope you all enjoyed the ride!


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